There are many things I shouldn't say. I shouldn't, for example, tell you about the tunnel that now leads directly to your house from my basement. I also should not admit that it opens into your room via your closet, nor that I've heard your voice at 3 am when you thought that you were alone. I shouldn't tell you the way I punctured the hole up into your closet with the door-knob that I pulled off of the storage-room door because it didn't lock quite right. And that through that hole I occasionally deliver notes that I could've just as easily sent through the mail, and that as soon as they're written in the first place, I regret that the words are mine at all. But regret is the method of my life, so I put my doubts aside and search for an envelope. As I lick the useless stamps, it reminds me of the songs we'd listen to and the books we'd discuss and how you intrusively and quite without my consent left your taste in my mouth and how I'm now paralyzed from the chest down. My heart doesn't work right and my breathing is always shallow.
And I like to believe that I couldn't ever go back, but it's like convincing a train to abandon its tracks.
And one should never do that.

Comments:

comment by strider333 on June 21, 2008 12:11 AM ()

reply by briseis on June 21, 2008 12:18 AM ()

Maybe I should watch what I say
in my sleep.

comment by larryb on June 19, 2008 8:17 PM ()

reply by strider333 on June 22, 2008 12:16 AM ()

Everybody should!

reply by briseis on June 19, 2008 8:23 PM ()

*ROFL* If you heard me at 3 am...I must have been talking in my sleep..and you better watch if you sneak thru the closet..I have an attack cat.

comment by elfie33 on June 19, 2008 3:56 PM ()

reply by strider333 on June 22, 2008 12:17 AM ()

But you were saying such interesting things! I wanted to hear more...

reply by briseis on June 19, 2008 4:00 PM ()