What I Would Say to Martians and Other Veiled Threats

Jack Handey

In his humor pieces for the New Yorker and his sketches for
"Saturday Night Live," Jack Handey, the creator of "Deep
Thoughts," a series of inane, pseudo-inspirational sayings, captures a particular,
very American brand of hilariously oblivious idiocy. Why shell out 15 bucks for
a compendium of fatuous remarks, when Internet comment boards offer an
abundance of them for free? If you have to ask, you won't get it. Here are tips
on how to leave a scarier skeleton so your bones won't wind up being used as
musical instruments and a letter from one of the recently damned, who gets an
internship as an assistant to "a demon who pulls people's teeth out,"
and then asks, "Is this what I came to Hell for, to hand different kinds
of pliers to a demon?" -- Laura Miller, Salon.com