Now that I've got presents wrapped and under the tree I'm starting to feel tthe Christmas spirit. My son has an X-Box under the tree. We brought it home about two weeks ago and waited till he went to bed and played it. Now I can't wait till christmas so I can play some more. I mean of course it's for him, there wouldnt even be an X-Box under the tree if it hadn't been what he wanted more than anything. His fathers aunt got him one of those huge remote control cars that probany runs on an actual car battery. There is no telling what else he will get from assorted other family. I'm sure a box of stuff from my mother in Florida will be arriving anyday now. Okay so maybe he's a little bit spoiled. But, he is an only child. He's been living primarily with his dad since we seperated four years ago. But somehow through all the strange events of the past few months I've found myself living in the same house as my ex and our son. I'm greatfull for the chance to all live in the same house although the ex and I have to struggle to get along. I hate the way I ended up here. It feels strange spending Christmas like this without Tim. The past four years we always did the rounds on Christmas and saw his kids and mine and all the family together. Now, I'm going to the ex-in-law Christmas where everyone looks at me funny and mutters to each other "I thought they split up" Well, we did but we're adult enough to all sit down and talk when my fiance got indicted and decide that it was best for everyone involved if I stay here with my son so I can be around him and also be close to Tim since he's going to be in county jail for awhile until he's sentenced. Well, maybe by blogging out all the negative feelings I have related to the way this holiday season is going for me I can remember that Christmas is really for kids anyways...