My son's 15. "He's a kid!" yeah, yeah, I know....

He's also really sneaky. Has been watching shows on TV he isn't supposed to (yeah, I'm a little strict & when I saw he was recording a show he wasn't supposed to last night [he was away at his father's]....I recorded this morning Barney & Teletubbies over it!). He also has been eating things he isn't supposed to at proper times (he's a type 1 diabetic). He has a lot of freedom otherwise. My husband & I have decided to let him decide if he wants to go with his friends or our family places if the 3 of us do not already have plans made together & he is responsible for letting everyone know. This has helped to elminated A LOT of the ex's "important" calls to me (that & hubby answering the phone a few times for me...). I think we're all mostly happy with the new arrangement. Except my son.

Something comes up, let's say something "simple" like...a friend calls & asks him to go to a movie (yes, it would be something he "could" go see). "So & so asked me to go to the movie on this night at this time." "Are you going?" "I dunno." "Let us know what you decide, we don't have plans that night so you can go."

A day or so later, we ask, "So what are your plans with your friend?" *shrug* "What did you decide?" "I don't like making decisions." "Does that mean you're staying home or you're going with your friend? You need to answer him soon." "I guess I'll just stay home!"

I KNOW he's "just a kid" but what is it that I'm missing? Why is it he wants to be told yet what to do even though he is always (repeatedly) asking to make his own choices? It seems to me, but perhaps I'm recalling it incorrectly, I was itching to make a choice or two on my own when I was his age. (Not that I had a lot of friends or opportunity to do things though, but still!)

Oh well, no one said parenting was easy! =)

Better get movin...I have tons to get accomplished in the next couple of hours...take care! =)

Comments:

Your reply to my comment, "This is my life? Paying bills??" PRICELESS!!!!! How true!!!!! I laughed out loud!

Nope they all do that. My younger son (19) does the same thing. He'll get past it believe me and then he'll be gone all the time. Enjoy it now. Also the TV shows? Totally understand. We had to start checking his history on the internet as well when he was about 15!

comment by teacherwoman on Apr 1, 2008 2:18 PM ()

I'm checking the net too & am amazed at what I've found so far...welcome to parenting! I'm glad to hear he's "normal" for his age!! Hope you have a good one today!

reply by dkelly on Apr 3, 2008 9:18 PM ()

Kids say they want freedom; but what I found with my kids is that many times, they wanted me to say "no" because it kept them from turning their friends down; they could blame it on "Mom". I also think kids still need to feel that someone is directing their lives; they think they won't to do it, but most recognize they really are not old enough. They want those limits, even if they complain.

comment by redimpala on Mar 31, 2008 3:01 PM ()

I never was really "allowed" to make any decisions (at least that I recognized) so this is all rather new to me! I do believe I am the scapegoat though...now that you mentioned it. Sure am happy to hear this is nothing to be super concerned over! Enjoy your Friday!

reply by dkelly on Apr 3, 2008 9:20 PM ()

comment by hayduke on Mar 31, 2008 11:20 AM ()

I want my mommy too sometimes but I know she won't be able to fix anything (lol). I just wanted freedom but when I got it, it was like...now what? This is my life? Paying bills?? Happy Birthday!!!!

reply by dkelly on Apr 3, 2008 9:22 PM ()