I watched my daughter in law make herself ill yesterday because she is dreading an interview with the Oklahoma City school system. Ellie's neck was so tight and miserable that she had to go to bed with hot packs. Granted, the schools that she would have to go to are dreadful and in the inner city and on the Southside. Most of the misery stems from knowing if she is offered a job, she needs to take it. She has to get her foot in the door.

Ellie has always strived for perfection in everything. Adrienne has the same drive to excel but they need to know that some situations are beyond their control and that the finger of fate often steps in. I think that knowing all the useless agonizing is doing nothing but making you miserable should mitigate the anxiety but maybe not.

Maybe it takes a lot of years to know that you really have no control over your life. You have to work toward your goals and then let go so that it doesn't give you ulcers.
I have made a lot of bad, impulsive decisions but it works itself out in the end. I can't spell serendipity but I trust it completely.

Comments:

Dear Jeri, we can't always control what happens in our
lives, but we can control how we respond to it. I'm
sure you have already been talking with her about her
reaction. You know the old saying about the tree that
snaps in the wind is the one that wouldn't bend with it.
I wish her luck. This thing about perfection does a
lot of us in. Maybe she could benefit from talking
with a therapist.

Getting that first teaching job is tough. I wish her well. I have a friend who has taught in the inner city for several years. It is not an easy road, that I can say. I really hate that she gets so worried it literally makes her sick. Someone once said that 80% of the things we worry about never actually happen. I'm sure it will all work to her advantage in the end.

comment by redimpala on June 22, 2008 5:43 PM ()

That is true. She will be teaching English as a second language and you know what schools she will have to start in.

reply by elderjane on June 23, 2008 6:39 AM ()

Hmmmmmmmm.Not sure what to day.Hope that she gets out of it
and things will go her way some.This is very hard for some.
I never had this problems.My job came to me easily.
But that was a different generation.Today it is tough.
So much competition.Good luck daughter.

comment by fredo on June 22, 2008 1:36 PM ()

It is harder now, I think. Our generation had the hope of climbing up a notch, this one doesn't.

reply by elderjane on June 23, 2008 6:41 AM ()

no control over our lives? I Think we have some. Best of luck to your daughter....

comment by kristilyn3 on June 22, 2008 1:07 PM ()

Actually, we have some. Illness, Accidents etc. can't be factored in but making good choices helps.

reply by elderjane on June 23, 2008 6:43 AM ()

comment by troutbend on June 22, 2008 12:24 PM ()

Thanks, I have tried to tell her that interviews are highly subjective but I didn't point out that being Russian might have caused prjudice, even though she is an American Citizen.

reply by elderjane on June 23, 2008 6:45 AM ()

Wow. I hope the interview goes well, but it's not woth being ill over

comment by tracy on June 22, 2008 10:21 AM ()

Nothing is worth beating yourself up over. In the final anaysis it does no good whatsoever.

reply by elderjane on June 23, 2008 6:59 AM ()

I couldn't agree more about control. However, sometimes we do have choices. In this case, there does seem to be a choice of what job to apply for. But then, as you say, once the decision (which is believed to be correct) is made, accept it, along with the consequences.

comment by jjoohhnn on June 22, 2008 10:20 AM ()

I guess you have to live awhile to learn to go with the flow and accept what comes your way. They scream about teacher shortages but the first job is always hard to get unless you know someone. Sad but true.

reply by elderjane on June 23, 2008 7:01 AM ()