My dear blog friends, I am going to need you all very much. Yesterday when I picked up kota from school, he was very late getting out. I was one of the last moms waiting. Then I saw him, being led down the hall by another woman. Apparently something happened as they were leaving the classroom. A little girl got bumped into and hurt. Even the teacher is not sure what happened. But I talked to his teacher and the asst. principal. I was upset, not sure what was going on with my little boy that I love so much. The asst. principal said it could be a chemical imbalance, a light bulb went off for me. I told her bipolar runs on my husband's side of the family. She had a lightbulb moment too when I said that. It all made sense. She said to be sure to talk to the counselor about that on tuesday when I go.

so last night I did research on bipolar children. Most of the symptoms could describe Kota to a T. While it would be nice to have a clinical explanation for this change in him, I fear the stigma attached to anyone diagnosed with any mental health condition. In my research I found that in adults the mood swings can last days. While in children it is a constant cycling of moods throughout the day. And as kota is already feeling stress at school, it would make sense that these moods are more prevalent at school than at home.

Talking to his teacher I became so upset. I was almost in tears. Then his teacher did the best thing, he gave me a hug. I told him, I just don't understand this behavior. He assured me I am handling it the best way. By getting him counseling and being open to listen to what they say.  bipolar can be very difficult to handle and I am going to need lots of prayers and encouragement, if it turns out this is indeed what he has. Kota kind of got a double whammy. Bipolar runs in his family and depression runs in my family, including me. But I am much better since being on my meds.

So I am scared, uneasy and just feeling kind of lost right now. If you all could just meet kota you would see what a wonderful little guy he is.

Comments:

[SMILE I understand about lableing . When I tried to talk to hubby about what I thought was wronge with Matt. Hubby thought I wanted to lable him retarded. No I want to know what is up so I can Best help him. Us mothers know when something is off with our children.

A big hug to you and the world is changing with regards to all that stigma, but the most important thing is that you take care of what's necessary and who cares what other people think...

I'm so sorry that I didn't read this until today, Mary.You need prayers and encouragement? You've got it...coming all the way from Canada. I agree with MellowDee...early diagnosis is key and once you get a diagnosis, you will be followed up and checked up on regularly...you won't have to do this alone, Mary. There will be people who know what to do and how to handle things to guide you along the way and help you to do the best thing for Kota. This has been my experience as a mom to Michael... just when I start to feel overwhelmed, I take a deep breath and trust the caregivers who know what they're talking about.Hand in there, Mary...hope is on the horizon.

That's tough... but at least if you get it diagnosed now you can learn how to balance it and work through these rough patches. My BIL is bi-polar, and has had his share of extended hospital visits, but they've finally found the right medication to help balance him out, and he is now very happy and healthy and doing quite well for himself. Just keep doing what you're doing, and Kota will be okay.

comment by mellowdee on May 12, 2008 3:54 PM ()

thanks mel, it sure is a confusing time. there does seem to be alot more information on bipolar disorder even in the last few years. And they are finding it in children and are able to diagnose it correctly. I am arming myself with all the info I can find.

reply by elkhound on May 13, 2008 4:03 AM ()

I wouldn't tell the counselor. See what conclusion they come to on their own - might be completely different. If it seems off, then mention it. That's just me though. I like people to not be spoon fed these things - some people will be lazy and assume that's it - then prescribe drugs.
Best of luck with this though Mary. I have a bipolar friend who is the bestest person in the world. She takes her meds regularly though.

comment by kristilyn3 on May 12, 2008 11:55 AM ()

I am scared of the drugs though, they have so many bad side effects. but i will do research on that too and form my conclusion.

reply by elkhound on May 12, 2008 12:42 PM ()

I'm so sorry Mary!! Trying to catch up on here. I agree with what those have said on here "don't let the school label Kota". My son's first grade teacher tried to label him as having ADD and he didn't have it. I'm just saying beware of that. Love and prayers sent your way.

comment by texastar on May 12, 2008 4:32 AM ()

That is good Mary! Sounds like a good plan there.

reply by texastar on May 12, 2008 4:42 AM ()

thanks jenn. after talking to the asst. principal on friday, I am pleased with their reaction. she was all about forming a game plan and getting things going for next year. This behavior started in january and has just progressed since then. I believe it started when he was getting bullied on the bus. and from what I have read, stress can trigger it. Also the asst. principal said also a growth spurt could have triggered it. I am loading myself up with information.

reply by elkhound on May 12, 2008 4:37 AM ()

comment by jensgems on May 12, 2008 12:17 AM ()

bipolar is also called manic depressive. the person goes through major mood swings from very high to very low. with adults the moods can last days or longer. with children they are constantly cycling through the moods throughout the day.
thank you jen, you are so right about out children. we would walk on hot coals for them. and just from what I have read, alot of parents do not want to admit their child has a problem. I just want him to have a happy life so I will do whatever it takes.

reply by elkhound on May 12, 2008 4:21 AM ()

If his school is going to be involve in his treatment, he will have special status, and every semester or every school year, depending on the school, there will be a team meeting to decide on his Individual Education Plan. (IEP) Sometimes schools try to block parents from attending, others require it. YOU DO WANT TO BE THERE! Meet with his therapist before his IEP for her (or his) input, have that information mailed to you, and take it to the IEP. Know what you want for your child and collect information about what is available in extra help with whatever special issues or problems he may have. After you have been to a couple of IEPs, you will know if your school district is willing to spend the money on your child, or lump him into "Special Ed classes" with behavior disordered or even violent kids. Find out how your school system deals with special needs children. Be prepared to stand up to them if necessary. Arm yourself with education about his condition. You pay his doctors money, for that money you deserve some serious education on his condition. Make sure you get it! God bless you and your family. Keep Strong.

comment by thestephymore on May 12, 2008 12:07 AM ()

thank you so much for the information! this will be really helpful to me. I have never had to deal with anything like this. I am going to write down your comment and take it to the counseling session tomorrow. She is very familiar with my son's school and she should be able to walk me through much of this.

reply by elkhound on May 12, 2008 4:18 AM ()

Stop. Take a deep breath. Now, face this dragon and fight! You can face any fight as long as you know the name of your enemy. You and Kota will have to work together as a team. Prayers are with you all.

comment by mzscarlett on May 11, 2008 5:59 PM ()

thank you mzscarlett! I had my couple of days to feel lost and sad. Now I am going to face this head on. I am reading as much as I can about bipolar and the different treatment options. I am so glad I already have him in counseling and we can discuss this.

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:31 PM ()

Sorry,. Mary, they will get to the bottom of this

comment by lizzieann on May 11, 2008 7:07 AM ()

thank you lizzie, its a rough road but we have a great support system. and with prayers and guidance we will do what is best for kota.

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:32 PM ()

Oh, Mary, I am so sorry. I have a family member who is bipolar and two of her children have also been diagnosed as being bipolar. I really haven't seen any labeling of the children at school. It seems that so many these days have to take medication for one thing or another. I know as a teacher that I have never witnessed and abuse resulting from medication. The children are very helpful in reminding students that it is time for their medication.

comment by angiedw on May 11, 2008 4:53 AM ()

angie, that is very reassuring! I just hate that kota has to deal with this, but with his counseling and perhaps other treatment, he will be just fine. and then more people will see the loving child that I know.

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:34 PM ()

Before you assume that he may have bipolar get some professional help. He could be just going through some issues with the school like he may feel he is being picked on all the time. At home, he is a different person. Hopefully, a professional counselor will get to the root of his problem and get him on the right track.

comment by blogdreamz on May 10, 2008 8:40 PM ()

we got kota into counseling last week, after a recommendation from the school. and this week I will be meeting with the counselor alone. I just feel this could really be the answer. everything I have read describes kota exactly.

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:36 PM ()

Mary, something I do often, when my kids are scheduled for their therapy session is to call their doctor and give her a brief update on any happenings in their life that are of significance. That way she is updated and on the same page. If he is truly bipolar, it will be okay, Mary. There are medications that help to balance it out in the brain. Don't let anyone 'label' him with anything at school. It will help though, to find out what is going on with him and why he is behaving the way he is. You're doing a great job. Keep researching and ask his counselor to give you any information on bipolar so that you can be dept abreast of everything. Hang in there!

comment by hopefields on May 10, 2008 6:51 PM ()

That's a great thing that he trusts his counselor and is able to open up.

reply by hopefields on May 11, 2008 9:33 PM ()

thanks kelli, i have to admit friday I was just a mess about all of this. but having done some research I am really convinced he could be bipolar. and now its time to let the counselor do her job and help us. kota really likes his counselor, he was able to really open up with her. and that is very important!

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:38 PM ()

Read everything you can Mary.

comment by cindy on May 10, 2008 6:46 PM ()

I have been reading online different websites. and our library has one book on pediatric bipolar disorder, someone has it checked out. but I have a hold on it. tuesday I will meet with kota's counselor and hopefully she can give me more information and what we need to do to see if he does have this.

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:40 PM ()

Your doing what you can for Kota Mary, and you will get thru this too. I'm sure the counselor will be able to give you some advise.

comment by elfie33 on May 10, 2008 5:05 PM ()

once I got over the shock of this being a possibility, I started researching. while I hate that kota may have this, and it will be life long treatment, I know that me and his dad will do everything in our power to help him.

reply by elkhound on May 11, 2008 6:43 PM ()

Mary, there are/have been a few bloggers who have lived with, fought and lived a fulfilling life being bipolar--just recently a blogger went into the history of bipolar life--I hope he sees this and communicates with you as he will be very reassuring.
You are taking all the right steps at this time in his life so (yeah, just try telling this to a mother) relax and know that are you doing all you can to help your son

comment by greatmartin on May 10, 2008 2:58 PM ()

thanks martin, I also hope that person contacts me. do you remember who it was? although right now I am still upset, I think when I talk to the counselor I will start feeling better. Its just so hard as a mom to see my little guy struggling so much at such a young age.

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 4:26 PM ()

“But I am much better since being on my meds”, the same will happen for your boy.

Even tho I do know that there still remains some stigma, so many have chemical imbalances these days I bet you’ll discover kids in your son’s class who you would never guess have BP but with the meds and counselling you’d never know it.

I guess I’m trying to say don’t be too “upset” about it. Good that you know now, rather than five years down the track in his schooling etc.

comment by dazeymae on May 10, 2008 1:30 PM ()

Exactly.

Youse are all halfway there.

Those are the kids I feel for, if the parents won’t “admit it” what chance do the poor buggers have.

As a friend of mine says [I love this saying of hers]…“Chin Up, T*ts Out!”

reply by dazeymae on May 10, 2008 2:00 PM ()

thank you! I think knowing what the problem is, thats half the battle. I am just so thankful I put him into counseling recently. the teacher did say, there are so many parents who would not even admit there was a problem.

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 1:37 PM ()

we're all here for you, Mary. we know what a sweet, dear child Kota is and whatever comes, all will work itself out. I wonder if changing schools would be an option or help at all. just a thought.

reguards
yer supportive pal
bugg

comment by honeybugg on May 10, 2008 10:38 AM ()

that has been on my mind buggs, switching schools.to one that is better able to deal with this.

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 1:15 PM ()

comment by lunarhunk on May 10, 2008 9:46 AM ()

that is what I am hoping for AJ, an answer to this behavior and a treatment regimen. I have been feeling so lost and not knowing what is going on with him. They have asked has anything traumatic happened, and there is nothing.he just slowly started getting worse.

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 1:14 PM ()

Sorry to hear about this.Cannot adviced as do not know too
much on this subject.Glad that you found out about this and
now is the time to heal.Maybe the med will help him some.
Good luck on whatever is chosen there.
((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

comment by fredo on May 10, 2008 9:37 AM ()

thank you fredo I might need to lean on all of my blog friends. I think that finding out if this is indeed what he has will be a milestone. I will do whatever I can for my Kota.

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 1:11 PM ()

I can definitely understand your fears, worries, sadness and distress. Take it one day and one step at a time Mary. Whether Kota has it or not, you will all be ok. He has great parents and is already in counseling and doing karate. All these things will help. If it's bipolar, they'll treat with meds and therapy and they'll teach you how to help him along. I've been dx bipolar and so has my sister. I still think you would see more of this other side at home if it truly was bipolar, but the professional will know Hugs and I'm here for you

comment by firststarisee on May 10, 2008 9:12 AM ()

tuesday I meet with the counselor without Kota. I am hoping it will help me feel better. I am taking notes on different things I have seen with Kota. I think I do see some of the behavior, just not on the level he shows at school. thanks Gee!

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 1:09 PM ()

So sorry.

comment by jerms on May 10, 2008 8:56 AM ()

thank you, its been such a difficult time lately. I just want what is best for my son.

reply by elkhound on May 10, 2008 12:51 PM ()