I am still here, dealing with stuff. I don't feel too bad right now. Although Kota had an in school suspension today. A kid was calling him names and kota swung his bookbag at him.
So I told kota, from now on say something nice to the person. Like, thats a cool shirt you're wearing! I like your shoes! You have a pretty smile! I told him as long as he continues to lose his temper, they will continue to taunt him. The thing is, when he is away from his class, he gets all his work done and they have no problems with him. Ugh! Its not like I can afford to get him a private tutor to teach him. He is going to have to learn how to deal with kids.
tomorrow is friday, so I will have made it through another week. Two weeks of school left. Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement. I will return to my usual self one day. But I don't want to just write when things are so bad and write about all the bad things kota is doing. I just love that kid so much and it hurts so bad to see him struggling.
At the end of the day I am just exhausted from the stress. I have been trying to find a tai chi instructor around here but no luck so far. The hospital offers it for cancer patients but thats all I have found so far. I think something like that would help me alot.
peace love and happiness

Comments:

well,you have all of the comment above helping you.
Something got to give.

I agree with Hopefields. You should document everything that happens down to when you speak to him as well and how his reactions are when you tell him about his behavior. If your going to seek professional help this will help them as well.

I use to tell my kids to either ignore the name calling or say something polite like "Why thank you" this will make the other kid mad but they will come to realize that he isn't going to retaliate back in what they say to him. It is difficult because name calling does hurt.

comment by blogdreamz on May 16, 2008 6:14 AM ()

the counselor at school emails kota's outside counselor to let her know about things that happen at school. I am hoping he remembers the new plan, to say something nice back to the name callers. i think that will really throw them off balance.

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 6:17 AM ()

Mary, my kids school district has a "no tolerance for bullying" document that they each much sign at the beginning of the school year. The district takes very seriously teasing, bullying, picking on other kids. The kids teasing Kota are fully responsible for instigating Kota and it's a shame they can't be dealt with. Hang in there Mary, I feel for you. You're doing the best you can do and schools almost out. You'll have the summer to work with Kota on better reactions to deal with these types of situations for the next school year. Take care of yourself.

comment by shesaidwhat on May 16, 2008 5:18 AM ()

our district also has a bullying policy, but I guess they do adhere to it. it even references name calling. I told kota today would be a great day for him and he knows what to do if someone calls him names. let's hope I am right.

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 5:33 AM ()

comment by honeybugg on May 16, 2008 1:14 AM ()

well I saw one of the parents and it appears she has a giant chip on her shoulder. I don't think it would do any good to try talking to her. the thing is, these kids know if they make kota mad he is going to have a meltdown and get in trouble. they think that is hilarious.

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 4:04 AM ()

I agree with Jon and Hopefields. Document all of this. I had to do this when Nathan was in school and it paid off believe me.

comment by texastar on May 15, 2008 9:38 PM ()

I should have been documenting all of this from the beginning. I just kept thinking it had to get better. now with only two weeks left to the school year I just want to get through this. I might call the principal today and ask what punishment that other kid received for calling names.

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 4:03 AM ()

comment by jondude on May 15, 2008 8:04 PM ()

that is good advice Jon. I am trying to teach him to take deep breaths before reacting. or count to 10. we were practicing last night. but it turned into a fit of giggles cuz mommy was calling him funny names.

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 4:01 AM ()

and by the way, I like your suggestion about saying that's a nice shirt or whatever - kill em with kindness!

comment by kristilyn3 on May 15, 2008 7:18 PM ()

that idea just popped in my head. its impossible to ignore someone calling you names.but if he can disarm them by being nice, it just might work.

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 3:58 AM ()

comment by firststarisee on May 15, 2008 7:06 PM ()

reply by elkhound on May 16, 2008 3:57 AM ()

comment by greatmartin on May 15, 2008 6:20 PM ()

thanks martin.

reply by elkhound on May 15, 2008 6:31 PM ()

What happened to the kid that was calling Kota names? Was he suspended as well? Or is it only no tolerance to the victims of bullies? This makes me so upset! Hang in there, Mary, I know it's hard, but hang in there. Kota observes everyone throughout this trial, even you and your reactions. It will get better.

comment by hopefields on May 15, 2008 6:19 PM ()

That's wrong! You should document all instances, like this one, and take it to the principal. If that doesn't work, go to the superintendent. Just a thought, but this is really not fair for Kota. The kids doing the bullying really need to be held accountable. Can Kota give you the names of the kids picking on him? That would help when you document it all. You need a paper trail, so if this comes up again, you can tell the superintendent what days and which kids are doing the teasing and bullying.

reply by hopefields on May 15, 2008 6:42 PM ()

no that kid was not suspended. this is how its been going. someone calls kota names and he lashes out. I believe the kids think its funny to get him in trouble by making him so mad. the teacher told me he had a talk with all of the kids when kota left school on wednesday. as far as I know, nothing is really done to the kids taunting him, other than having to flip a behavior card.

reply by elkhound on May 15, 2008 6:31 PM ()

comment by lunarhunk on May 15, 2008 6:02 PM ()

I am hoping the counselor can work with him on this. and we will have all summer to enforce better behaviors.

reply by elkhound on May 15, 2008 6:29 PM ()

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
You're doing fine, and you will get through this. 2 weeks.

comment by kristilyn3 on May 15, 2008 5:56 PM ()

thanks kristy, I am so glad to have my blog friends. you guys really keep me going, more than you could know.

reply by elkhound on May 15, 2008 6:01 PM ()