‹ chat statusThere is a time for everything, right? And there's also a right time, follow me? But not everyone's time line is the same, agreed?
I dated my ex for four years, was engaged to him for another four while I finished college and then we married. We bought a house right away. Exactly one year later we had a baby and four years after, we had another baby. To me this is textbook "the way it's supposed to be". It's how my Mom and Dad's relationship evolved and for whatever other reasons, it's how I pictured adult life.
Skip to now because we all know how that turned out and today is not the day for re-hashing those emotions.
By my old standards and even to logic, my relationship with G has moved way too fast. I fell sooo deep, sooo fast, sooo freshly out of my failed marriage. But yet it feels right and every day it feels more right. It makes my heart happy and so many people that I thought would put up a fight to me moving so fast have instead encouraged me as well to continue moving in the direction I feel my heart pulling me too.
My parents already asked me when he was going to move in. With a big smile she said "it's stupid for both of you to be paying rent." (I know there is more to it than just a financial benefit. She sees how good he is to and for me and how happy I am.) Then she went on to talk about how her and Dad had thought of how we could add a couple walls to put up another bedroom or two so that all they kids would have a room. My sis who vowed that she "wouldn't let me get into a serious relationship right away" has encouraged me and taken him in to her heart as a bil already. She told me about her Top 10 List of qualities in a man and how she vowed not to settle for less. She went on to tell me that she ended up settling for 9 of 10 because she had originally wanted a man with money, but in the end decided that if she were going to be broke at least she knows she chose someone she can enjoy being broke with. I made my own Top 10 List while I was away too. My children adore G and every day ask when he'll be here which has evolved from "Is he coming over tonight"? Then they ask him "Will you stay the night?" They want to know when they're going to see his kids again. My daughter made a list of goals she wanted to accomplish before summer was over on her myspace and one of them was "Have G move into our house".
So what I'm trying to say is that we've decided that G is moving in by the end of the month. Don't worry, I'm making a healthy choice even if it doesn't fit standard time lines.
I took it as a "sign" today when after talking about this with G, I finally got a call from the ex that the first part of the divorce paper work is actually in his hands. He was calm, pleasant and friendly. I think he's finally resigned to the fact that this is what is going to happen and that the kids and I are happy. I had mentioned to him a couple weeks ago that G and I were talking of moving in together and he said that he trusted my judgement and knew I'd never do anything to hurt the kids.
Time can be your biggest friend or your biggest enemy, but either way time will pass. I want to stop wasting my time and start enjoying every minute as it passes the way I have been since I met G. I feel like I've lived more in these past months then most of my other years combined.
posted on July 18, 2008 1:05 PM ()
somehow it doesn't surprise me that you get it
I could REALLY feel your happiness for me!! And I am sooo HAPPY!!
Laurie
As Sheryl Crow would sing, "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad" Good luck and I am going to add you back on as a friend if you do not mind
and I just love Sheryl Crow whether I'm on your list or not Bri...I still consider you my buddy.
I'm so happy you're happy. I'm so happy your kids are happy. I'm so happy you and the ex are being communicative throughout all this. Awesome.
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