As a Catholic growing up in a faith that conducted its worship services in a language that nobody understood, (Latin),  and had many of its most important teachings shrouded in mystery, I had a very hard time finding God. Whenever I asked a question, the priest or the nuns would always point to The Baltimore Catechism to find the pat, printed, generic answer. If the answer wasn’t there, they would basically shrug their collective shoulders and say, "Well, it’s a mystery!" I was supposed to be happy with that. I was not.

I know that not every question has an answer. I also know that, for many answers, I don’t have the capability or the brain capacity to understand them. I can live with that.

What I had a hard time with was not being able to find this God! How can you love something if you’re not even sure that it exists?

I looked HARD to find this Catholic God that they all talked about, and I always came up empty.

***

Now, actually, the God that I believe in shows himself all of the time. Where do I find him? I find him in the space between you and me.
When two friends come together in friendship, I see God there.

When I meditate and go deep inside, I find God there quietly blinking back at me.

When I see Mary Ellen and give her a kiss, God is there.

When my grand daughter comes up to me and wants a hug, God is there.

When my dog Dixie licks my face and wags her tail, God is there.

Is my God at The Main Street Pub? Oh yeah! In fact, he’s buying the round and pouring the beer!

Do I ask him for favors? No. He either won’t or can’t give them. What he can do is offer support and help me find the strength to handle life’s trials myself.

Does he take sides? I don’t think so.

Does he go in for trappings like sacraments? Holy water? Rosary Beads? I think that he sees them for what they are – manmade devices to help people believe. Does he see them as good or bad? I don’t think God thinks in terms like "good" and "bad". Again, these labels are manmade devices. I think God just sees things as being. That’s it. Just being. Things exist. There is no inherent good or bad in anything.

He gave us each a heart and a brain, and he expects us to use them both.

I see the face of God in a sunset just as clearly as I see an artist’s signature in the corner of a painting.

Does God judge? Not mine.

Does he condemn? Nope.

Does he hate gays? Come on!

He is not possessive or angry or sadistic.

He believes in free will, and let’s us live our lives that way that we choose.

He believes in The Big Bang Theory and Darwin’s Theory of Evolution because he’s the one who allowed them happen.

He believes in science because he created science.

Is he all-knowing? I don’t know. But he must be pretty damned smart because the universe he created, according to Einstein, is just freaking perfect.

What does he want from us?

Let me ask you that same question. If you were a parent who loved your kid, what would you want for and from him or her? You’d want them to be happy. You’d want them to be safe. You’d want them be free. You’d want them to know that they are loved. You’d want them to love you back.

When the kid messed up, you’d be tolerant.

Can you stop your kid from doing wrong? No. As a parent, I know that I can't make a kid do anything. I can only show him or her the better way, and hope they pick up on it.

Can I stop my kid from getting hurt? Nope. As a parent, sometimes I can only stand by and watch the damned kid make his or her own mistakes. And then, when they get hurt, physically, spiritually or mentally, I can step in and offer them my unconditional love and support.

***

My God doesn’t even know what a sin is. We, the humans, created the concept of sin. Just like we, the humans, created the concept of God that appears in the Bible and in most religions. And it’s no wonder why, when people look for that God, they don’t find it.

It doesn’t exist.

My God, at least to me, is everywhere. I see him in all things. He is there, and he is here. And his face is your face and my face and Dixie’s face. And it fills my life and my heart, and, as childish or delusional as that may seem to some people, it makes me happy.

It all seems rather simple to me.

Comments:

Let me ask you that same question. If you were a parent who loved your kid, what would you want for and from him or her? You’d want them to be happy. You’d want them to be safe. You’d want them be free. You’d want them to know that they are loved. You’d want them to love you back.

PERFECT!

So glad to hear your Mom is doing better,

Jim how is your mom doing? I've been thinking about her..

comment by elfie33 on July 15, 2008 12:57 PM ()

Hi Elfie!
My mom was operated on for the brain tumor last Wednesday. When they opened up her skull, they discovered a tumor that, contrary to what the PET scans led them to believe, didn't LOOK like a malignant tumor. Because the tumor was so involved with the bone tissue in the skull and was wrapped around the main artery leading to the brain, they could not remove all of it.
The pathology reports on the tumor tissue came back yesterday. The tumor is benign. We all breathed HUGE sighs of relief. (A week ago, the doctors had led us all to believe that the tumor was a very aggressive form of cancer!)
My mom will have to undergo radiation therapy to kill off the rest of tumor. She has a titanium plate in her head now because the tumor had eaten away so much of her skull that it was thin and fragile. Besides that, she is fine...or shall I say, ON CLOUD NINE!
Thanks for your concern!

reply by hayduke on July 15, 2008 6:49 PM ()

Bravo.

What a perfect ending to such an engaging series of posts. I couldn't agree more with everything you have written here.

comment by jondude on July 15, 2008 7:24 AM ()

Yeah. He does that once in while. He doesn't do it on purpose though. If you call him on it, he'll buy a round for the house.

reply by hayduke on July 15, 2008 7:44 AM ()

You guys have really been going with the religious blogging hey?
Nicely done!