By Kevin Scott Collier

A local television station produced a feature segment on me earlier this year about writing children’s books. When the reporter was asking background questions for the piece, he became quite curious about the fact that my wife and I never had children.

“What is a man who never had children doing writing books for kids?” he asked me. And, it seemed, he couldn’t get over that topic.

Back in the 1980s, when my wife and I began thinking about starting a family, an opportunity came up to become Big Brother to a boy who existed in an environment of despair. His name was David, he was 9, his father had disappeared long ago, and he lived alone with his mother who had M. S. She was legally blind, and in a wheel chair. They lived in poverty, and one of David’s Uncles helped out when he could.

I was recommended to David by a friend of his mother’s, a mutual friend. My thoughts of becoming a father were put on hold, as I believed I could be in the service of God more by being there for a young boy who didn’t have a father.

Our friendship lasted for nine years. David was an incredibly creative and optimistic young man. But, there were some incredibly sad times. I often questioned God, “Why did I get involved?”

David and I would travel around together, play, see movies. We did lots of fun things. But, only half of the time was there joy and laughter. It wasn’t unusual for David to call me at times and say, “Kevin, can you take me to the hospital so I can be with my mom?” David’s mom often was in and out of the hospital due to complications from her M. S. I would pick David up, and we’d go to the hospital. There’s nothing sadder than sitting in a hospital room seeing a young boy with tears in his eyes holding his mother’s hand not knowing if she would survive the night.

With David, on one hand it was either joy, or despair. It was never in the middle. It was in the middle, and I never knew which side would dominate our next meeting.

When David turned 18 years of age, we saw each other less. He had a girlfriend, and they were talking about getting married in a few years. It was the weekend before Christmas in 1993 that David stopped over and introduced me to this young lady. And, I finally got the feeling this long journey of ours was near complete. Now I was seeing a young man with an entire future before him.

Then, 3 weeks later, he rolled his jeep on an icy back road near his home and was killed.

David’s mother, who always told me she wanted to “live just long enough” to see her son move on with his own life, was now attending her son’s funeral.

I had never been so confused or depressed in my entire life. I was angry with God, and regretted ever meeting David. I had spent nearly a decade with this boy, and for what? I would never see him move on in life. It hurt me so deeply; I resolved to never have children.

But, after all of these years later, I am at peace with myself, and with God. And, I finally have the answers to two questions; the one the TV reporter had asked me, and one I asked myself about David.

The reason I never became a father is so I could be there for a little boy who didn’t have one. And, the reason I “got into this” with David was because it was the right thing to do. And, doing the right thing is always in your best interest, even when it hurts. God always knew this, I just had to be patient and understand.

Comments:

Very touching story. Your presence in David's life must have anchored him in a way that his mother and your wife only know. It seems that God allows us to experience the unexplainable so that one day we will know his reasons. How fortunate David was to have you. Good that you are at peace with yourself and God.