Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a
question if they are not prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly elderly woman
to the stand. He approached her and ask, Mrs. Jones,
do you know me? She answered, why yes, I know you Mr.
Williams. I've known you since you were a boy,and frankly
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you are a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never
amount to anything more than a two bit paper pusher.
Yes I know you. The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing
what else to do, he pointed across the room and ask,
Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney? She again
replied, why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know him. The defense attorney almost fainted. The judge
asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a
quit voice said, if either of you idiots ask her if she
knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!!!

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