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Something must have happened to me in a prior existence, or at least in my childhood. I HATE ANTS!! To see an anthill or--even worse--multiple anthills, sends me into a frenzy of destruction. I stomp, spray, dust, dig, hose...all ultimately futile attempts to rid my little world of these omnipresent pests.
I know that they evolved from over 100 million years ago. I know that there are between 12,000 and 14,000 species of the little insects. They not only pre-date humans, I've no doubt that they will survive us and ultimately rule the world. With their external skeletons, their compound eyes, their six legs...they are mini-monsters on the prowl, communicating with each other secretly via chemical signals called pheromones. Oh, how sinister they are!
My earliest memory of ants has more than likely been blocked out by some kind of autonomic trauma relief mechanism. But I do vividly recall an incident when I was a Boy Scout. We had ventured out into what at the time was an unpopulated area south of Greater Miami. I'm sure that it now is filled with little boxes called houses, populated by thousands of people speaking Cuban/Spanish. At any rate, there we were at the time, attempting to cook our dinner in a big, cast iron pot. A fire was started and the pot hung over the fire. More wood was gathered and put upon the fire. Suddenly, pouring out of the wood, there were a gazillion large, red ants. They ran blindly up the sides of the big pot and jumped like lemmings into the stew.
"Extra protein," said our scoutmaster, shrugging.
Then there was the time in college in Tallahassee when, returning to my rented room, I noticed a lot of little, creepy activity in the front yard. It was an ant war. Big red ants were battling little red ants. The little ones had the big ones outnumbered 4 to 1 and were handily winning the fight. The big red ones struggled against as many as 4,5, or 6 little ants at once, writhing around in vain and ultimately dying on the battlefield.
It is not hard to imagine these scavenging warriors coming after us next.
I suspect that humans, as a species, will do each other in long before the ants get around to attacking us. In fact, the ants probably are keenly aware of this and have already prepared themselves to survive the human holocaust. Their social organization and their ability to create defensible and long-lasting habitats will help them inherit whatever is left of our world.
Yet I persist in killing ants whenever I encounter them. I have no illusions about what I am accomplishing. I do not see them as worthwhile creatures. You may say...well, they aerate the soil. Bull hockey! Their aeration is useless since it takes place where the ants themselves wait silently to assault whatever comes within their skulking purview. They are demons, destructive devils, subterranean enemies of humanity. They may have fantastic pheromones but, to me, this is not funny. These chemical signals are nothing short of threats to all of us. I encourage everyone to participate in killing as many of these fierce little formicidae as possible, and the sooner the better.
posted on Aug 8, 2008 11:14 AM ()
Don't scratch! Take a nice hot shower or bath. Sprinkle on some powder. You'll be okay...
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