Yet another factor in the increasingly high levels of stupid people in our midst:  poor parenting skills.  By the time the clueless parents and the incompetent teachers get done with them, what chance do they have?!

New findings by researchers at the University of Rochester are being presented today at the Pediatric Academic Society meeting (in Honolulu... they're no dummies) that show nearly one-third of U.S. parents have a surprisingly low level of knowledge of typical infant development and unrealistic expectations for their child's physical, social and emotional growth. 

I remember feeling so obligated and responsible when my wife first became pregnant.  I read everything I could find about babies and what to do to help them grow.  I recall a book titled "How to Parent" and its cousin "How to Father."  I read Spock too. 

But, according to these researchers, 31.2 percent of parents of infants don't bother to try to learn how to be good at that job.  They found that this correlated with lower parental education level and income, which I suppose makes sense.  But it's heart-breaking!

The low level knowledge of infant development results in parents who are less likely to participate in healthy interactions with their children, less likely to engage their children in regular enrichment activities, and less likely to grasp such basic skill sets as toileting training and when a child should be able to distinguish right from wrong.  Inappropriate punishment of infants follows.

For their part, the pediatricians need to take from this a renewed awareness of how important it is for them to help point parents in the right direction and promote healthy physical, social and emotional development for these children.  However, I suspect that these same parents who spank their infants for bed-wetting probably rarely think to have regular visits to the pediatrician...

Comments:

Supernanny has shown that no matter what background and stripe parents are, there is no blueprint for parenting. It seems that there is such a lack of sound parenting models, that whenever someone has written a how-to book, it's a best seller. Problem is, that parents who seem least successful, are really not there for each other or their children. Parenting requires so much time, discipline, tenacity, respect, consistency, humility, example, and all of it grounded in selfless love. Surely I'm leaving out other qualities, but at the end of the day, you realize the necessity of teamwork and support. I feel for single-parent families who have to be creative in recruiting resources, but support is definitely out there. Music to our ears is hearing that our son has character and altruistic values, and is making a difference in the world.

I often see evidence pointing to the fact that many parents give priority to their desires over the needs of their children. The "unrealistic expectations" for growth point that up. Further, many don't bother to study child rearing just as they don't study how to choose a compatible partner, simply because building a family isn't what they really had in mind. Poor planning = poor performance. Even with the best of planning, family building can still be difficult and filled with unexpected adjustments. Nice post. I share your concern.

I really REALLY think that parents should be required to have some kind of parenting course... When I mentioned something like this once to one of my aunts, she told me that it was what Hitler was espousing... (that doesn't make sense... maybe I was talking about genetics and education... I don't remember). But, I do think most parents need some guidance.

"I read Spock too."
And exactly what, pray tell, did you expect to learn about parenting from Star Trek?

comment by miker on May 4, 2008 2:22 PM ()

The Vulcan lecture to their children on how to lead a good life is simple: "Live long and prosper." What could be more to the point?

reply by hayduke on May 5, 2008 7:35 PM ()

My wife's mother was Vulcan...

reply by looserobes on May 5, 2008 7:18 AM ()

And then there are children like me.....a fire starter and a bed wetter at a young age!!! Thankfully at a young age I knew I wanted to become a firefighter!!! I understand what you are all saying about the LACK of skills, some parents of all ages have!!
I'm the woman in line or out in public who gently comments or distracts the children/teen/adult and it is amazing how quickly things can de-escalate when someone feels that they are being heard!!! As a parent of two daughters, one who will be 19 on the 7th and the other who is turning 21 in September, we have all learned what works best for our family and I say the ongoing communications are so vital to raising well adjusted responsible USA citizens!!!

comment by darkstar on May 4, 2008 11:13 AM ()

You're so right about the effect a witness can have on an otherwise irate parent. "Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking." --H.L. Mencken

reply by looserobes on May 4, 2008 12:44 PM ()

Also want to endorse teacherwoman's comment. Schools can't undo bad parenting.

comment by elderjane on May 4, 2008 8:49 AM ()

Sometimes I think that the only thing kids get from their parents are the bad things...

reply by looserobes on May 4, 2008 9:53 AM ()

At the risk of sounding smug, I am fortunate in being able to say that I have raised worthwile citizens who are excellent parents. We all make a few mistakes since we aren't perfect.

And these kids get to high school and struggle. In fact they struggle throughout their educational career because they didn't get the good basis that they needed in the first place. It bugs the heck out of me when I have a student who actually has a normal I.Q. but who is reading deficient. They've been tested and they are not Learning Disabled, but they never received the home stimulus of being read to, or being encouraged to read. My mom and big brother had me reading at 4. My sons both read. Even the Learning Disabled son reads for knowledge and actually enjoys it. It's a shame about so many of these kids. It didn't have to be so hard for them.

comment by teacherwoman on May 4, 2008 7:27 AM ()

It's downright criminal. Have you ever heard of parenting skills being taught in high school? I suppose some wackos think this encourages premarital sex...

reply by looserobes on May 4, 2008 7:46 AM ()

I have never ever spank my kids,I know of time would have love
to.I did the best or think I have fathering my children.
Sure,made a couple of mistakes that I was not aware of as they
got older,and into drug problems.This I did not know too much
about the drug population that we have today.
I am glad that it is over with and gone through rehab and
much healthy now.My biggest things was I did not see this.
After all of this happen,educate my self on the growing
drug problems.One good thing that came out of this,my girls are
now talking to their children and grand children about the
dangers of drugs.Spanking,never did and no bet wetting.
That was a good post Steve.Thank you for sharing tthis.

comment by fredo on May 4, 2008 6:23 AM ()

Thanks for sharing, Fredo.

reply by looserobes on May 4, 2008 7:23 AM ()