Back in the Sixties, I attended a small land grant college in upstate New York. It was all-male, run by Franciscans, and ROTC was mandatory. Since I was neither Catholic nor militarily inclined, I did not fit in well. Passing ROTC became problematic.

At one point, I was commuting to school in a car pool with three other guys. Two of them were juniors and thus ROTC officers. As a sophomore, I was just an underclass jerk with insufficiently shined shoes and poorly polished brass. The two officer carpoolers treated me normally on Mon, Tues, Wed & Fri but on Thurs, ROTC dress out day, they insisted that I salute and call them "Sir." I saw problems ahead.

The ROTC regimentation did not suit my offbeat personality or my expanding intelligence. The uniform hat gave me a throbbing headache. I got demerits each week for not having a haircut, dull brass, scuffed shoes, failure to show appropriate deference to "officers," and various other sins of neglect.

I began to imagine a plan to upset the winter pass in review, to be held on the parade grounds before a visiting general. As my platoon approached the reviewing stand, I plotted, I would fall sideways, my rifle extended out, and trip as many cadets as possible. It would be havoc. It would be great fun.

The big day approached. It was colder than hell. Under the heavy wool uniform and great coat, I could barely move my limbs, let alone march in step. Being from Florida, I was not used to all this winter garb. To complicate matters, as the entire ROTC Corps paraded in a rectangular direction around toward the reviewing stand, the cadet in front of me was having trouble staying in step. Oops, oops, sorry, geez... The reviewing stand was just ahead.

"EYESSSSSS, RIGHT!!"

The numbnuts ahead of me was out of step again and, just as we were passing the general, my left foot came down upon his left heel. He went down as if he'd taken a bullet in the head. At least seven or eight other cadets tripped over the mess. Our platoon was not performing well in front of the open-mouthed general. My plan became, thankfully, unnecessary.

At the end of the term, I had accumulated so many demerits that I was flunking ROTC. I spent successive Saturdays picking up cigarette butts and trash on the parade grounds to work my way up to a passing D.

Then I left school and finished my education at FSU, where I belonged, joining the protest one day against the ROTC building there. The cadet who couldn't keep in step probably became an Army officer and won a Bronze Star in Vietnam.

Comments:

Laura is right it was a decade that is almost indescribable. You had to be there.

That is so funny. I can just imagine the pile up!

My uniform was immaculate, but the gigged me for a sloppy body. When they called my unit to disperse anti-war protesters, they couldn't find me. I was in the demonstration. My generation has lost three wars. By God I am proud of them.

comment by bumpedoff on June 30, 2008 8:29 AM ()

reply by nittineedles on June 30, 2008 3:26 PM ()