The journal of the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology [hey, I just report the stuff; I don't name 'em] has published new research findings indicating that certain foods make us smarter.

So far, the experiments have only been on gerbils but the scientists hope that our human brain synapses will increase just like those of the experimental little gerbils did, thus improving our cognitive abilities. I love this quote from Gerald Weissmann, MD, Editor of the FASEB Journal:

"Now that we know how to make gerbils smarter, it's not too far a stretch to hope that people's intelligence can also be improved. Quite frankly, this can't happen soon enough, as every environmentalist, advocate of evolution and war opponent will attest." Hear, hear.

Okay, okay...here are the three smart foods (sorry, they only listed these three):



Choline, found in eggs.



Beets.



Fish oils.

Now, because we're all friends here, I'm going to clue you in on several OTHER FOODS that I strongly suspect also increase smartness. Let me be clear on this: no gerbils were experimented upon to come up with these foods. This is only based upon my intuition and experience:

Pizza, malted milk balls, cherry twizzlers, & cake donuts. Eat hearty, my smart friends!

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