Okay, I've had it now over this global warming business. The disappearance of Florida and the flooding of coastal cities, I expected. The extinction of polar bears and certain forms of ice-dwelling worms, I have prepared myself for that. The increased devastation of storms worldwide, that's already happening before our frightened eyes. But THIS, THIS IS TOO MUCH: according to research presented today at the 103rd Annual Scientific Meeting of the American Urological Association, rising global temperatures could lead to an increase in kidney stones.

Kidney stones are painful as hell and I know whereof I speak. Long before "drinking water" became an old-fashioned way of describing "getting hydrated," I have been trying to flush my plumbing to avoid these jagged little intrusions.

Dehydration has been linked to stone disease, particularly in warmer climes, and global warming will exacerbate this effect, the urologists now tell us. As a result, the prevalence of kidney stones may increase, along with the costs of treating the condition.

I hadn't realized this but the southern United States is considered "the stone belt" because those states have higher incidences of kidney stones. Perhaps it is no coincidence that I have not had a recurrence of this problem since I moved from Florida to Utah. With rising global temperatures, the area of high incidence will expand as well, they say.

I was ready for such things as an increase in deodorant sales, a spike in A/C and fan manufacturing, or a run on canoe and rowboat lessons. But this is too much. Maybe those damn urologists are just trying to scare up more business by invoking some form of psychosomatic suggestibility. It does appear, however, that you folks in Florida have one more reason to fear global warming...

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