Does it seem that appearance is more prevalent in the gay culture? Like in order to be datable or on the market, you need to look like a model. I mean sure, who wouldn’t want to date a hot guy. I mean I wouldn’t mind at all..lol

But seriously, just going through the Internet -- going over personal ads and other blogs that I read. It’s like every gay guy only wants to date someone of a particular “type” and anything else is unacceptable or not even worthy of going out with. I mean does everyone truly base things on looks alone to the point that, 'Oh, he’s not cute enough, so I’m not going to bother and get to know him”.

What ever happened to don’t judge a book by it’s cover?

Maybe it’s just a small percentage of the population that think that way. I’m hoping it is, but still, you kind of get depressed when you try to go out and meet guys and you don’t look exactly like one of those models. You just look like a normal guy. Does everything truly have to be based on looks alone?

What do you guy’s think? I don't have experience in the gay scene yet, but talking to some of my friends who have, I’m getting an impression that looks are the first thing on the list and personality is a distant second. My friends assure me that I won't have any problem attracting guys and maybe that's true, but are those the kind of guys I'd even want as potential boyfriends? I don't think so. My ex-boyfriend was very shallow and told me to my face that the only real reason he was with me was because of the way I looked. It was later that I learned he was hooking up behind my back with guys off the internet.

I’ve always had this fantasy( no, nothing naughty) where me and my boyfriend would be at home some random night, cooking dinner together. Afterwards we would watch a movie or some random tv show together on the couch, snuggling (maybe some kissing) with each other. I know my problem is that I'm a romantic and probably completely niave, but I can't believe that looks are all guys are focused on.

*And yes, I know this happens in the straight world too -- the emphasis on beauty -- but for this post I wanted it to be strictly gay centric.

Comments:

comment by thepirateinthecity on Apr 11, 2008 7:48 AM ()

I will definitely try some of your recommendations for meeting good guys. I know they're out there. Thanks for your insight.

reply by mattguru18 on Apr 11, 2008 4:41 PM ()

No difference between nongay and gay people--listen to the nongay guy who is always looking for the hot girl.
Yes, looks are the first thing you see when you look at a person and yet the more you get to know someone the better looking they become.
I am more of a romantic than you can ever imagine (or possibly be) and yes, I have experienced your 'fantasy' many times and it has/had nothing to do with looks.
Most people have a 'type' though they stray from their type quite a lot--I have never had a type except they had/have to be male and breathing (as I got older I added breathing) and looks didn't/don't enter the picture--keep your options open and don't worry what other people are looking for--but remember you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince so don't skip the frogs!!!

comment by greatmartin on Apr 10, 2008 7:51 PM ()

I promise I won't skip the frogs
What you said makes a lot of sense. Thanks.

reply by mattguru18 on Apr 11, 2008 4:23 PM ()

comment by panthurdreams on Apr 10, 2008 6:19 PM ()

Thanks for the advice

reply by mattguru18 on Apr 11, 2008 4:14 PM ()

Well said Dale. I only can say I like you for who you are (btw you're also good to watch as well lol)

reply by itsjustme on Apr 11, 2008 4:30 AM ()

A lot of the gay men are so vain,you will see this.
Look at Martin.

comment by fredo on Apr 10, 2008 4:25 PM ()

Martin vain? No way.

reply by mattguru18 on Apr 11, 2008 4:11 PM ()

Just be you

comment by lynnie on Apr 10, 2008 4:22 PM ()

I will

reply by mattguru18 on Apr 11, 2008 4:09 PM ()