Early morning day one.

Sitting on the hard cold bench outside the court room I watched at the judicial system came to life that first day.

I finally got to meet my sons GAL little over a year.
He briskly walked by me waving hello, as he went to meet with the GRANDPARENTS who had abused this child.

I had all I could do to remain composed. I understood for the first time completly what this was about. I had denied and even argued with those who tried to tell me.
I always believed this was about the safety of a child...FOOL that I was.

I forgot to mention that when my son came into the system the State of Illinois farmed out services to private agencies n an effort to save money. The agency managing this case was Central Baptist Family Services....Their belief was that it was better for the child to live(or be killed) with his family than to live with Tammy and I, the lesbians....

It was also the belief of the Madison County Illinois Court.
One of my favorite statements of the judge hearing the case was "It is not my job to determin where the child would be safe, just where he should live....."

The first day of hearing was a full 8 hr day....It amazed me that my sons GAL was in essence representing the grandparents who were tried in DCFS court and indicated to be the abusers of this child after a lengthy investigation....

They questioned who the adults were in our household, how much income we had, our religous affiliation, social traditions and extended family history.

Never once did the grandparents have to answer these .
questions.

Nor did they ever testify

As the day was winding down it was clear where the Judge was going with his decision....

At the last moment I reminded my attorney of a suppressed fax that was recieved regaurdning the ethical practices of Central baptist.

The State needed time to obtain the fax and present it, so the judge continued the case....



To be continued....

Comments:

The unfairness, the injustice, the judgements, the intolerance... just what gives one the right? How does this still happen? My heart aches for you. Best of luck.

I cannot believe the attitude of this court. It is a complete outrage that they do not take into consideration the SAFETY of the children! How can they possibly think in this way? Having loving parents who will be responsible enough to care properly for a child should be the only criterion. There is enough wrong with the world without having this kind of attitude in a system that we need to decide the fate of each and everyone who comes before it!

so to the courts, its better to have abused children than god forbid put them in a safe although gay household! no wonder other countries hate us so much.

"It is not my job to determin where the child would be safe, just where he should live....." This statement infuriates me! It is most certainly his job to determine where the child is the safest. Having been abused, as well as my children being abused, I am used to the injustice of our court systems. I'm sorry you are enduring all of these struggles to protect your children.

comment by hopefields on Apr 17, 2008 12:30 AM ()

Thank you so much for your kind words...

reply by hopefields on Apr 17, 2008 5:52 PM ()

Thank you for all you have done....I think you are very brave and a tremendous soul.....I am proud to walk beside you on this earth!

reply by ocean1 on Apr 17, 2008 8:22 AM ()

"It is not my job to determin where the child would be safe, just where he should live."---That is the biggest load of Sh1t I have heard. As is the relevance of your religious affiliation and the like. Tell them you are with the first church of got more damn sense than to abuse a child, unlike the others.

I'm rooting for you sisters!

comment by ekyprogressive on Apr 16, 2008 6:50 PM ()

I love your responce......sounds like a great church to me!

reply by ocean1 on Apr 17, 2008 8:19 AM ()

I cannot even start to imagine what went through your head during the procedures or how you and Tammy dealt with such stupidity--I mean I can read this knowing there is a happy ending but you had no idea where it was going--sure the both of you had many nightmares.
By the way was your son still with you during all this or did 'they' try to take him away from you??

You know, since I'm not gay, I'll never totally understand the relationship between two of the same sex, however I do know that my sister in law and her partner are wonderful wonderful people. For them to be denied if they had wanted to adopt children would have been stupid on the judges part. The kids you took in and gave love to were not your everyday kid and the truth is, most of them would have never gotten adopted. You've given them love and a home. I think it is ridiculous for a judge to question you because you live with someone of the same sex. It's not like you're out there selling porno! Give me a break.

comment by teacherwoman on Apr 16, 2008 8:17 AM ()

Didn't think it was harsh at all. I totally agree. It is the parents of male and female who end up inflicting the abuse in most of the cases you hear. It's very sad. I'm with you, it's horrible -- there's no other way to see it.

reply by teacherwoman on Apr 17, 2008 8:56 AM ()

I did not mean to come across as judging any one....My responce sounded a bit harsh.....I walk beside you in this world and could care less who the abusers are....it just needs to stop!

reply by ocean1 on Apr 17, 2008 8:50 AM ()

Literally I just think of us as all people, not by what sex you choose for a partner in life. I am sure that there are many people of both persuasions who would abuse kids, but you do hear more about the hetero's like me (who would never hurt a child) doing it more. What a shame

reply by teacherwoman on Apr 16, 2008 8:50 AM ()

I love them and see their worth and blessing in life. `I can not understand how my life is so wrong when it was hetero sexuals that abused these blessed children....and gave birth to drug exposed children.

I will never understand what makes one lifestyle superior.....

reply by ocean1 on Apr 16, 2008 8:46 AM ()

Fantastic true story, ocean. Excellent!!!

comment by whereabouts on Apr 16, 2008 8:16 AM ()

Thanks...and this is only the circuit court level...still have the appelte and Supreme

reply by ocean1 on Apr 16, 2008 8:40 AM ()