Amazingly it was 10 years ago today I met Chris. (Sometimes it feels like a lifetime!) I remember the red outfit that I was wearing that night. I remember seeing him waiting at the bar. I remember the conversation that flowed so easily that night.

I was dating someone else at the time and left the next day to visit him. I got home on Sunday and found out that flowers had been delivered to work Friday afternoon. We talked on the phone during the week and went out again on August 27th. It was Chris' birthday and we met his family at the dog races. I remember driving home that night in silence and thinking how comfortable that silence felt. It wasn't a lack of things to discuss as much as not feeling the need to fill every second with noise.

By October we were living together. By December we were engaged. Yep, it moved fast. I'll be honest-he swept me off my feet. He knew the way to my heart...flowers and sweet treats! There were too many times to count when I would have beautiful flowers sent to work or he would come home with my favorite Kroger eclair or pie from The Pie House. I had never been treated as wonderfully as he treated me. I felt loved in a way I've never felt loved before.

Things have come so far since then. There isn't a person alive who knows me better than him. He knows the absolute worst about me, knows secrets I've never told anyone before him or after him. I don't think either of us has ever treated anyone so badly as we've treated each other. I've never felt as loved as I did by him and I've never been hurt so badly as I've been by him.

Ours is a relationship that is beyond description. I would guess that both of us have friends and family who can't imagine why we are even able to speak civilly, let alone be friends. I can't imagine my life without him in it though. I know he would do anything in his power to help me if I needed help.

It's hard right now. I'm married to a man that I didn't realize understands so very little of who I am. I've got these two men in my life. One who really "gets me." He's a wonderful conversationalist. We have a lot of shared interests. There's the small matter of him being gay though. Hiding that has brought a lot of heartache to both of us. Then there's this man who is as honest as the day as long. A man I know is trustworthy, a man of character, solid-if he says he'll be home at 4:00 walks in the door at 4:00. Only problem is he no more understands me than the man in the moon. He loves me too. Unfortunately he hasn't quite figured out the importance of eclairs!

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