I've been thinking about this post since 8:00 this morning. Readers from Blogster know that I work with behaviorally challenged kids. So one of my 5th graders (B) got into a fight last week. In a nutshell, he wanted to be first in line, teacher made him come back and pick up his hula hoop. Kid walking by said hi and B kicked him. Another, much larger kid, said why don't you kick me? So B did. Only problem was that the next day was Field Day...and the 5th grade had a trip planned to the water park-as long as you had no discipline referrals.

B missed Field Day. He sat in my room and did nothing. His mom showed up about 10:30 to watch him run the 50-yard dash. She ended up throwing a hissy fit and sat in the office waiting until 12:45 so she could take him home. (Of course she could have taken him home at 10:30 but I guess she didn't realize that.)

When she finds out that he will also miss the water park she throws another fit. It's not fair that he is losing two fun events. She informs me that he will be sick on the day of the water park. I just tell her that's her choice. So today he comes in and tells me he will be going to the water park. His mother says so. I just keep in mind this is not my battle to fight. But this kid is through for the year. As far as he and his mother are concerned we're out to get him. He will do no work-just sleeps and when I ask him to do something he says "you can't make me."

I talked to him this morning about what had happened and the fairness of the consequences. Here's the part that makes my heart hurt. He knew as soon as he calmed down after the event that his behavior had lost him the water park. He can tell you exactly why he's not being allowed to go. Yet he also knows that him mom will fight this battle for him.

This is a smart, personable, kid with a huge anger problem. He can even tell you that his big problem is not being able to control himself when he's mad. But instead of getting him help-medically and counseling, his mother chooses to tell him she can make it all go away. I look down the road B is traveling now and it's hard to see a positive outcome. He isn't going to be able to hold a job. He will be abusive in relationships-he's verbally abusive to him mom now. Incarceration looks like a good guess. So I try to make sure he knows right from wrong, but it feels like fighting a losing battle sometimes.

Comments:

wow... being a teacher has got to be sooooo hard!!!

This situation seems to come down to another case of poor parenting. This has been discussed recently in Greasytown... mandatory parenting classes in high school, for example. Of course that wouldn't do much good in cities where less than 50% of students graduate. There are just too many kids with "issues" these days. Kind of like blaming the victim.