This entry is a continuation from my posts entitled ‘Mexico Classmates’ and ‘What’s Wrong with Being Noble?’ And I think this will be the final post along this line. I’m back to campus after some time away, our spring semester is just begun, and I’ve been reflecting on who we are as seminarians and Christians – people preparing to minister.

The community, mostly of aspiring pastors, has never been what I hoped it might be – not that I thought it would be one big happy family. I guess I just expected that more seminary students would make a first impression defined by Christian maturity. I thought I’d rub elbows with more people who emitted the aroma of Christ. (There have been some.) But there’s more posturing and less kindness than I thought there would be; more intellectual elitism and less humility, more seeking to be clever than the heart of Christ. Who wants to be serious about God and conscious about being his representatives (seeking to emulate as well as fundamentally adoring the Lord)? That sounds so lame. (?!?!)

It seems like I was looking for a cross between a monastery and summer Bible camp. Yes and no; I hope you can pick up my realism as well as concern. Some students, in their intention to not be pious or condescending, have embraced a mentality not of humble devotion, but worldliness. A few others have found a path where they can relate to the culture, speak into it, and welcome/attract others out of it – while remaining distinct from it. We don’t have to become ‘Bible-beaters’, legalists, or ‘fundigelicals’ to live a life of devotion, mission, and Christian spirituality. We’re not free to be drunks, snobs, consumers of pornography, thieves, and foul-mouthed jerks either. Concern for the environment and protesting the WTO or the war doesn’t get you off the hook I’ve set.

You probably know some people who think that the way they conduct themselves, being very pious, upholding high standards for ‘Christian’ behavior, being good – even great, is enough and they allow themselves to participate in systems or traditions that don’t challenge status quo and do real harm to people or the credibility of Christianity. Others forgive themselves some serious personal lewdness because they’re players for positive change in the ‘big’ scheme of things. There are many categories, in which to lump people, but these are the opposing sides I’m concerned with today.

These two sides are often described with a question like this: Are we about saving souls or changing the world? First of all, why should that be a choice? Then we need to address some assumptions I observe on each side. Evangelism & conversion don’t go hand-in-hand with (are not dependent upon or represented by) ideal lifestyles. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift,” Rom. 3:23-24. (Galatians 2:16, Romans 7:18-19) Great political ideals or having a theology that promotes social change does not release us from our individual day-to-day call to witness to God’s person and will through love and service to our neighbor – which I believe encompasses our attitude, language, and behavior with other individuals. “Be careful that this liberty of yours does not become a hindrance to the weak,” (1 Cor. 8:9). (Romans 12:9-11, 14:13-19, 15:1-7)

See, I think that sanctification occurs through a relationship with Christ, abiding with Jesus (John 15:5), rather than achieving certain lifestyle standards or being on the right team. I see that as a middle place, where others either slide into legalistic piety or embracing the world. Attitude and perspective just change by virtue of hanging out with the Lord a lot and soaking up God’s way of seeing things. This isn’t something that’s ever complete, adequate, or quantifiable. I assume it just happens. Mistakes are made along the way, mood fluctuates, new information comes in, and some conceptions get chucked. All the while, Jesus is taking shape in me, the Spirit moves me, as the Word is preached to me (in various ways), as I take in the body and blood.

“A disciple is not a person who has things under control, or knows a lot of things. Disciples simply are people who are constantly revising their affairs to carry through on their decision to follow Jesus." -- Dallas Willard
“What we are about is not success, but faithfulness.” – Clarence Jordan

Among the Lutheran seminarians I find a lot of scheduled piety, designated time for reverence, programmed spirituality. Some people don’t seem to Worship outside of planned worship services. (Rom. 12:1, 1Thess. 5:16-19) Maybe this shouldn’t surprise me, since I perceive much of that in our congregations. Maybe I'm wrong. I’m under the impression that many are here (at sem) for other priorities, and being spiritual or occasionally reverent is (for some) another requirement that must be checked off. I actually find myself (ironically) not attending campus chapel services very often, because when I do, deep down I think I’m participating-in/affirming the ‘scheduled devotion’ phenomenon. If I’m giving the impression that I’m ‘in-touch-with-God’ 24/7, or think Christians or pastors should, that’s not it. I’m certainly not, but I wish I could be, and that desire alone means something to me.

I think some of my fellow seminary students only feel it necessary (or possible) to ‘get-in-the-zone’ with God at official worship times, or designated devotional times. These folks don’t seem to operate with a sense that the Lord is with them all the time and calling them into relationship with God all the time. For many Lutherans the pursuit of holiness rings with ‘works righteousness’ but in my mind it has nothing to do with my will-power at all. The pursuit of holiness is about being increasingly surrendered, submitted, and aware. The pursuit of holiness is handing myself over moment by moment, dying to self more completely, acknowledging God more often. I trust the Spirit to be moving me this way, but I’m not free to mentally check-out either, saying: “I’m going to indulge this sinful urge until God takes it away. I’ll turn my thoughts to God when he makes me feel like doing so.” Then we should be driven by conviction and adoration rather than earning or aspiring.

For some of my fellow students Jesus may really be a means to an end, a justification or empowerment for a cause they believe in. For me, Jesus is who I believe in. My Lord is the end. Any other cause I’m involved with is a means of being more true to my Lord, a means of aligning my world and my self with the final word & reality who is Jesus Christ. What I think I’m describing is not a pursuit of holiness at all. Holiness is something I want, for a sense of communion rather than achievement. Holiness (you may call it sanctification or consecration) is something I expect and anticipate being brought into or grown in me. This holiness, this conversion to perfect love and obedience, is something I’m compelled and constrained to act upon as if it were already complete. I live for Christ as deliberately as I can, trusting him to make me, beginning again after every fall I recognize, trusting it is already forgiven. May it be so with you.