‹ chat statusHillary Clinton stated some time back that "it takes a village to rear a child!" Problem is, friends, the village has long since disappeared. In it's place we have sprawling metropoli, filled with inner city teens of varied ethnic and social backgrounds.
They are organized into well-defined gangs, who spend their evenings robbing, fighting over territory, doing drugs, engaging in sex, and for fun firing from their cars at innocent bystanders.
Meanwhile, those who could have fled to suburbs, now themselves large cities overrun with teens with too much money, too much freedom, and not enough limits. They spend their time doing pretty much the same things.
In short, where is the village that once insulated these kids and protected them from themselves? Well, let's explore what that "village" actually entailed. It involved a cooperative effort of three entities--parents, the school, and the church.
Those parents who still try to set limits for their children get no cooperation from the schools now. Time was when schools were "hands-on" with students. They hugged them when they cried or were mistreated, and they spanked their butts when they misbehaved. Then, when the kid got home, his parents spanked his butt again for getting in trouble at school--no matter what the reason.
Now, schools are "hands-off". They can't touch a child, even a five-year-old who desperately needs a hug from someone--anyone!! And, if the kid does get into trouble at school, the parents can't beat a path fast enough to the principal's door to berate the administration for picking on their precious little angel.
And what about church? How many parents today recognize and believe that a strong religious upbringing is an important and necessary facet to aid a child into becoming a morally responsible adolescent and adult who respects his body and the body of his female counterpart as a temple of God's Holy Spirit. How many children today have studied the Bible enough or at all to recognize and appreciate that defiling their bodies with pre-marital sex is the greatest of sins--a sin against oneself. Do they even realize that their body was purchased with a price--the blood of Jesus Christ? Have we told our children? Have we seen to it that they had religious role models to help our children grasp that?
So, this is the "village" to which I am referring. It is that invisible wall that once insulated and protected our children. It kept them within its cocoon, setting the parameters within which that young person functioned.
Each of these three--the church, the school, and the parents--functioned as partners to provide protection as well as expectations upon the child to be the best that he could be: That included being the best that he could be in every facet of his life: To be the best student he could be; to be the best citizen he could be; to be the best morally that he could be; to be the best son or daughter he could be.
Those children had expectations. Our children today do not. They are floundering in a world without limits, where we have failed them at every level--as parents, as educators, and as religious examples for them.
Their protective village exists no more.
And whether we realize it or not, our kids WANT limits. They may say they don't, but they do. They will push the envelope while all the while just hoping someone will stop them. I saw this time and again when my children asked to do something. When I said "No", I was surprised how many times they replied by saying, "I didn't really want to do that anyway."
They were under peer pressure to say "Yes". When I told them they couldn't, they had the "out" they needed. "My parents won't let me," allowed them to save face without engaging in something with which they really were not comfortable. Limits!!! Kids need them and want them. They look to authority figures to provide them. When that authority figure fails them, they flounder, following a weaker, more dangerous authority figure down the wrong road.
Until we return to our values of the past, pre-teen sex, sexually-transmitted diseases, school shootings, drug experimentation, drive-by shootings and disrespect for oneself as well as the rights of others will continue spiraling out of control.
We all will pay the price for this.
posted on May 4, 2008 9:48 PM ()
I do agree with all of your points. The parents have not exercised their responsibilities and as a result blame others (like the schools, when their children break rules). I think I have broken every rule that came up (why the rules?). I did hug the kids... so much so that when I meet them today, they expect a hug (so do the parents), which, of course, they get (not breaking any rules by this!). I also spoke of religion (with a lot of caveats... but parents never complained... I live in a very Christian community). It is true that kids yearn for limits and respond well, when the limits are made clear to them. Good post!! 
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... this immoral war is a reflection of our fragmented, and dying nation ... the US is digging its own grave with its militaristic overspending shovel ...
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