Five weeks ago, I gave the dates to my ex-husband for my two 9-Day, uninterrupted vacations, that he and I both get during the summer with our kids. These uninterrupted vacations over-rule our normal split custody.

I took my first vacation with the kids a couple of weeks ago.

My second vacation with them starts tomorrow (7/22).

My daughter calls me yesterday (Sunday 7/20) and here is our short conversation.

"I'm forced to call you."

"What's going on?"

"Dad & Chris told me to call you to find out what we're doing on vacation with you."

"Why?"

"Because they want me to go to Volleyball camp. I don't even want to go. It's not through the school. And we're going to be on vacation, right?"

"Well, when is volleyball camp?"

"Tommorrow."

"WHAT? Tomorrow as in day after today????"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm sorry, you'll be unable to go. We will be on vacation then. We're going to CP & SC for a couple of days."

"That's what I told Chris (Step Mom) and she said,
well... your Mom can change her dates on that."

NOW...

Insert LOUD HYSTERICAL UNCONTROLLABLE laughter here as I try to spit out coherent words in response to that RIDICULOUS statement...

"Ummmmm, *Snort* *ROTF* I am not changing my dates on anything. Have your Father email me if he'd like to discuss it."

"Ok, that's what I'll tell them."

And we hang up.


SIDE BAR 1:
My ex-husband and his wife are FOREVER signing my kids up for stuff, year round, non stop WITH never a consultation or inquiry to me about it. Even when it interferes with my court ordered parenting time. We have gone back and forth on this for years and I won't go any deeper into that drama today, but lets just say, that I am very accommodating to my children's' sports schedules because it's something my kids want to do. I adjust my schedule for my children.

I have let my ex-husband know that I will happily cooperate with schedule adjustments so that "J" (our son) can play hockey in the fall/winter and lacrosse in the spring. "S" (our daughter) can play any school sport or be involved with anything through her high school during the school year. BUT there are to be NO COMMITMENTS during the summer. If you choose to sign them up for "stuff" in the summer, they will NOT be available during my court ordered parenting time.

(As a Mother who values time with my kids, family & friends, I don't think it's too much to ask that my children have some "down-time" from constant commitments and continuous weekend games/practices/tournaments for the precious 2 1/2 months of summer vacation)

SIDE BAR 2:
Did I not give him/them 5 weeks notice on this vacation?
Do they have their heads so far up their a$$'s in attempts to produce yet another child to neglect, that they can't manage to mention "volleyball camp" a little sooner than TWO DAYS BEFORE IT STARTS??? HELLLLLOOOOOOOOO???????

We could have switched our plans with proper notice. My husband took 3 days off of work this week. We are NOT changing our plans with two days notice because they don't have their crap together. DUH!!



What NERVE! I can't even believe that Biotch had the hormonal balls to say "well... your Mom can change her dates on that."

But then again, I can.

You gotta almost feel sorry for the crazy woman. Poor thing. She can't control what we do on our time and it drives her batty.


So my daughter called today to tell me her Step Mom's response to us being on vacation at CP & SC.

"Chris said,... well maybe we're not going to pay for you to play volleyball and soccer this year, since you're obviously not committed."


WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

My vacation, planned FIVE WEEKS AGO! has nothing to do with my daughters commitment to her sports.

I am the parent. I made vacation plans with MY kids as I have the RIGHT to do.

DO NOT VISIT YOUR ANGER OF YOUR INABILITY TO CONTROL ME, ON MY DAUGHTER!!!

God! That Biotch makes me so mad. She's just talking out of her a$$ and is constantly making threatening comments such as that, like the immature baby that she is, just to hurt and assert her power over my kids.

Take your "hostile uterus" and Go to He11!

Cause "we're going on vacation!"

Comments:

Yup, they must be clones...

comment by catdancer on July 23, 2008 8:43 PM ()

Oh God! Lets just hope it is the same person. I can't sleep tonight with the thought of "two" of them running around like mini-godzilla's wreaking havoc on unsuspecting families.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 25, 2008 3:15 AM ()

Jeez... that sure is complicated! You make some great points, and truly are an amazing woman! I'm sure with your support, your kids will eventually grow to separate their love for their father from the wicked witch he lives with. So sad it has to be this way for now... but I suppose what is life without its challenges and lessons learned?

comment by mellowdee on July 22, 2008 3:49 PM ()

Thanks Mel. I hope I'm doing what's best for my kids. We talk about the difficulties and the reasons why things shouldn't be this way for young kids, but also talk about the ways they've learned to handle these challenges and become smarter kids. (My kids have had to learn to become VERY VERY organized due to the fact that they've had to think out the ridiculous scenarios before stepping into Step Mom's car when she picks them up from my house. My kids used to stand at the front door and "check" each other (brother/sister) to make sure they didn't have anything on that would set their Step Mom off, like "ugly" belt, "gay" bracelet, a shirt that was too big... Oh Gosh... that will have to be another post someday how she used to call my son's rubber bracelets "gay" and make him take them off. (Because I had bought them for him or he had acquired them while with me)

reply by shesaidwhat on July 25, 2008 3:14 AM ()

OMG -- That is just infuriating! I'm so sorry that you have to have someone like this interferring in your life. How much longer until all your kids are old enough to make their own choices and cut ties?

comment by mellowdee on July 22, 2008 10:39 AM ()

Again Mel... it's complicated. As you know, my oldest daughter came to live full time with me (because of my ex's new wife) and my ex has stopped talking to her (It's been about 4 years since they've spoke and regardless of what my oldest says, being abandoned by your father at the tender age of 16 has caused serious damage to her) The oldest lives on her own now.

The other two kids are old enough to choose, it's just that my ex-husband wouldn't agree to their wants and it would go to court AGAIN, like it had to go when oldest wanted to live full time with me. My ex-husband is incapable of allowing the kids to live with me. He fights and fights and fights to the bitter end. He can't loose. I cannot put that emotional strain on my the next two kids. I know "we" would win, but in the long run, they would loose their Father and the price is just too high.

I've often explained to my kids, while their life may not be perfect at their Dad's, I know their Dad loves them. I encourage them to hang on to a relationship with him, try to talk to him, etc. I believe that as they truly grow up in the next 3-5 years, and mature more, they will hopefully have found a way to separate their feelings for their STep Mom from their Father and find a way to maintain a connection with him. I think it's important for kids to have their Father's in their life and it would be too easy for them to disconnect (like their sister) if they were to live with me full time. I only hope that I'm doing what's best for them in the long run. I love them and am doing the best I can.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 11:03 AM ()

She is a biotch and he needs to grow some cajones and do what's right for his kids

Enjoy your vacation

comment by firststarisee on July 22, 2008 3:46 AM ()

Everyone always tip toes around her (step mom) because she's been trying to have a baby, but there comes a time, when someone needs to check her bad behavior. Just cuz step mom is going through a rough time, doesn't give her the right to be abusive and out of control.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 4:01 AM ()

comment by mmmhollywould on July 21, 2008 10:40 PM ()

My ex and I have "shared" custody, meaning our kids live in both of our homes. They are with me 6 days one week and 2 days the following week. The rest of the time they are with their Dad. It was an ideal situation when their Dad and I got along well and when he lived a few blocks from me. It's complicated now.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 2:56 AM ()

comment by dazeymae on July 21, 2008 6:22 PM ()

He wouldn't. I don't think was even his "fight". It's just pathetic Step Mom throwing her crap around as usual. (I think my ex-husband is afraid of her when she's all jacked up on hormones. She might kick his a$$)

reply by shesaidwhat on July 21, 2008 6:28 PM ()

comment by marta on July 21, 2008 6:08 PM ()

Thank goodness you are such a supportive, healing presence for your wonderful children.
Have a terrific fun vacation! Safe travels!

reply by marta on July 21, 2008 7:08 PM ()

When "she" hurts my kids, I really can't control my anger or hurt. It's the only thing I get really upset over. My only consolation is that my daughter and I both know "her" threats are empty. Step Mom has proven her lies and ineffectiveness for years now. Like I said, she talks out of her a$$. She's a bully and my kids aren't afraid of her anymore. Sadly, they have to tolerate her for a few more years.

Hopefully Step Mom will overcome her "wanting a baby of her own" issue soon. I'm sure she's causing just as much strife for my ex-husband as she wallows in her self pity. The kids see their Dad getting his share too and I tell them that I believe her anger and frustration will pass and things will calm down a bit.

Trust me, the minute they get in my car tomorrow, step mom will be a distant nightmare while the kids spend the next 9 days with me and my husband doing fun family stuff. We have a great vacation planned for them,

reply by shesaidwhat on July 21, 2008 6:14 PM ()

Man that is a lot of strife... I am sorry you hafta deal with!!! Geez... it seems ridiculous!!!

comment by kristilyn3 on July 21, 2008 5:58 PM ()

Thanks Kristy. It has really been escalating lately. Things had calmed down this past year, but I think Step Mom's attempts at pregnancy are really taking a toll and my kids are bearing the brunt of "her" frustration and anger... I and I can't do much from here about making it better for them,

reply by shesaidwhat on July 21, 2008 6:08 PM ()

Ok..time for some nice Ice Tea in a nice cool place till the steam stops coming outta your head.. Just trying to get a smile hun...I do understand..when my ex had visitation rights we went thru that. (HE doesn't anymore)..

comment by elfie33 on July 21, 2008 5:57 PM ()

That did make me smile Pam. I've learned through the years to simply laugh off the evil Step Mom's comments and intrusions to me, but I am very passionate about protecting my kids. She's just mean and mad and taking it out on an innocent child. (Where is my daughter's Father??? I'd like to know. )

reply by shesaidwhat on July 21, 2008 6:07 PM ()

You wanna buy a 'big' flarging Gun! Urgh people like that drive me insane sum!
Enjoy your vacation and make sure you buy something equaly as insane as you holiday for the 'Chris person'. eww!
Have a good time for me though kk

comment by lynnie on July 21, 2008 5:56 PM ()

We'll have a good time. I get upset when someone unnecessarily hurts my children,

reply by shesaidwhat on July 21, 2008 6:05 PM ()