I picked up my kids this morning from their Dad's house. They've been with him and their Step Mom for the last 5 days. (They'll be with me and Step Dad (their other Dad, they call him) for the next 9 days.)

A conversation ensues as soon as I back out of ex's driveway.

Daughter - "Friday was the best day of my life. Chris (Step Mom) was having a complete melt down. She was throwing things, screaming and swearing."

Me - "How does that become the best day of your life?"

Daughter - "Because Dad finally yelled back at her. He told her she was self-centered and that he was sick of her melt downs and tantrums. He said that she thinks of no one else, but herself."


Wow! Hallelujah! Their Father is finally standing up to her. It's about freaking time!

He may actually NOT loose his kids if he can manage to retrain his 2nd wife on the proper way to behave and treat him and his children.


There's a favorite line that Dr. Phil always says and that is:

"You treat people how to treat you."

It's so true.!

Everyone's been walking on egg shells around Step Mom for so long now. Nobody wants to put her in her place or call her out because she's trying to have a baby and can't. Oh well... sorry about that. I honestly am. But you can't just be a witch forever because life didn't go the way you wanted it to.

And my ex-husband can't allow his wife to do and say mean things to our children because she is hurting over the cards she was dealt. He can't sacrifice our children because she is on hormones. I'm sure his wife isn't screaming, swearing and throwing things at her place of work. That wouldn't be allowed. But she's been able to get away with horrible behavior in her own home for so long and hopefully it will get better now.

Anyway... the kids are here now. They are excited about our vacation and are helping each other pack.

The drama is over for us for the next 9 days.

(But not for my ex-husband, I'll bet ... *wink* *wink*)

Comments:

Just have fun on vacation and forget about her drama. Enjoy the kids and your vacation..and if you can get me something sparkly..

comment by elfie33 on July 26, 2008 5:33 PM ()

She's forgotten easily Pam,
Thanks!

reply by shesaidwhat on July 27, 2008 4:12 PM ()

Thannk God the kids have you. What a horrible mess.

comment by lizzieann on July 26, 2008 11:08 AM ()

There are days Hazel when I honestly wonder WHY?? Luckily we're able to overcome the bad days and put them behind us. We only have to deal with her for a little while longer. And together, we can.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 27, 2008 4:12 PM ()

Hee. Hee.

No buffer zone fer him now!!

Perhaps by the time the kids return he will have sorted her OUT, perhaps not, who cares when she only has him to direct herself at.

I know there is no need to yell ENJOY YOURSELVES…but I will anyway ay…

comment by dazeymae on July 25, 2008 10:52 PM ()

reply by dazeymae on July 28, 2008 2:37 PM ()

Tee hee... for sure. AND, I wonder how many times SHE blew up at him?? tsk tsk...

reply by shesaidwhat on July 27, 2008 4:13 PM ()

Heh I wonder how many times he blew up his wife…

Sounds like yer got the weekend planned sublimely…

reply by dazeymae on July 26, 2008 9:49 AM ()

Tee Hee, for sure... no buffer zone. I hear he spends a lot of time online playing some game called Call of Duty? That's as good an escape as any, I suppose,
We had fun! We're home now to do some family stuff over the weekend, swimming, BBQ etc. Have a great day!

reply by shesaidwhat on July 26, 2008 6:40 AM ()

Good story.

comment by solitaire on July 24, 2008 1:49 PM ()

Thanks Randy. It's more like a bad dream.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 25, 2008 3:06 AM ()

Thank you for the update! I had been waiting to see what happened though I am sorry you have to deal with this.

comment by mmmhollywould on July 23, 2008 11:29 PM ()

Hi Holly. Thanks for your kind words. It's a pain to have this woman in our lives. She's bitter and angry. Though I will say, "most" of the time, we are unaffected by her comments and rants. She's been mean and nasty for so long that we all (kids included) "KNOW" that it isn't "us". Every once in awhile she really surprises me with something stupid that she says and I once again have to lower the bar of expectations when it comes to what she's capable of.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 25, 2008 3:05 AM ()

People wonder why step-mothers get called monsters.This one sure takes the cake.I know there are very loving step-moms out there but one bad apple spoils the bunch.This apple sounds spoiled and rotten.Have fun on your vacation!!!!Laurie

comment by dogsalot on July 22, 2008 6:05 PM ()

Thanks Laurie, I know there are good step Moms out there too. I wish my ex would have married someone who would of better fit into the "working" post divorce relationship we had going. Step Mom didn't like that my ex-husband and I "talked"... so now we don't anymore. And it really caused a lot of problems and has been ugly for years now.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 25, 2008 3:00 AM ()

lets just hop he continues to stand up to her....either that or let me at her. I can smack the biotch down (she aint preggers yet)

comment by ducky on July 22, 2008 3:45 PM ()

He NEVER used to stand up to her in the beginning. As a matter of fact, the entire basis of why our oldest daughter won't talk to him anymore is because our oldest said that her Step Mom swore at her and used the F word and the Step Mom told my husband she didn't use that word. My ex-husband chose not to believe our daughter and it tore her apart.

As the years have gone on, according to the two youngest kids, he has occasionally stuck up for the kids against his wife. (I've explained to my kids that that is at least a start as poor Dad has to stay with Step Mom all by himself when the kids get a break from her when they come to stay with me)

I guess he's been really getting after his wife lately as she has become erratic, hormonal, more desperate, angry and frustrated. AND... my kids don't pay her much attention and that probably makes her wonder what all her BS in years past have now gotten her?? Nothing, but my ex-husband, so... in my opinion... not any prize,

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 3:56 PM ()

Goodness... I'm hoping that your ex eventually grows a spine and leaves this witch. Then maybe things can slowly return to how they were back when you could still be friends. How can he not see how horrible his life has become since they got together... I mean, seriously...

comment by mellowdee on July 22, 2008 10:42 AM ()

Oh my Gosh, "How can he not see how horrible his life has become since they got together?" I KNOW. I swear to God on my life, I was NEVER a screamer, yeller, swearer, melt down kind of wife. I can't believe this is going on.

The situation gets complicated I think for him, because #1... I left him. #2 He CAN'T have/face another failed marriage, especially since his entire family can SEE that I've never been happier in my life (then that would mean "he/ex" was the common denominator in two failed marriages.... hmmmm)
#3 I believe his self esteem took a big hit when I left him and he probably thinks he can't get any better than he's got,

I truly don't think he'll leave her. He's the kind of person unable to admit a mistake. He'd rather go to his grave in misery than admit she was the wrong choice (like I told him from the start... ain't no way he's gonna let me be right, ya know?)

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 10:50 AM ()

comment by marta on July 22, 2008 10:26 AM ()

WHEN the kids Dad stands up to her and/or sticks up for the kids... well.. let's just say... that goes a long way for my kids. It's really not my ex-husband who's the problem. It's his wife. I think that he is reluctantly becoming aware of that now.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 10:30 AM ()

comment by firststarisee on July 22, 2008 10:06 AM ()

One of my favorite things to say??

What comes around goes around!

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 10:27 AM ()

Terri, I am glad you are taking the kids away for a relaxing, PEACEFUL vacation If you don't mind me being frank, the other situation does not sound that peaceful Have fun!! Brian

comment by brian45 on July 22, 2008 9:42 AM ()

Oh Brian, you don't even know the 1/2 of it over at the "other" house. "Peaceful" is not a part of the daily life, I'm afraid.

Like I commented to Kristy, the kids "switch over" to adjust to life here and we stopped giving anymore of our time to the trouble with their Step Mom once we got home.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 10:25 AM ()

comment by hayduke on July 22, 2008 9:28 AM ()

I know the poor guy is suffering and I actually feel a little sorry for him. I know, I know... he chose her. But my ex-husband really isn't a bad guy. He made a horrible choice by marrying this shrew and I know for a fact he is PAYING for it everyday (especially when the kids aren't there as a buffer). I tried to warn him, but just like when I was married to him... he didn't listen

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 10:22 AM ()

Glad the kids are back with you. YAY VACATION!!!

comment by kristilyn3 on July 22, 2008 9:26 AM ()

yeah, the kids are fine now. They shift over to the "script" that is our house as soon as we pull in my driveway. (We've agreed that the 23 mile trip between Dad's and my house is all the negative attention and energy we are going to waste on talk and thoughts of their Step Mom) The kids vent and get stuff off their chest and then we get on with the lives that we've built together. That works for them.

reply by shesaidwhat on July 22, 2008 10:18 AM ()