It's an age old question I'm frequently asked: "What are you doing on the 4th, or Father's Day, or your birthday, or for Christmas, etc.?" Like I have something special planned for that special day.

Let me tell you. Once upon a time, not so long ago it seems, I was married, had four children, remarried, had three step children, which adds up to 7 in one household. On top of that, I taught seventh grade for 32 years with 120 savages per day assaulting my senses. In other words, I had kids up to my eyeballs 24/7, plus two crazy wives.

NOW ask me what I'm doing for Halloween, Labor Day, Thanksgiving. Easy. NOTHING! No cookouts, no camping trips, no going to the lake, no yard games, no going to the movies, no nothing. Thanks for asking.

I'm solitaire, and I'm FREE! I don't have to do anything, go anywhere, do any chores. And there's no punch line saying "I'm bored".

I enjoyed those "special" days with my children, and I enjoy those same days now without them. Ah, peace and quiet! Have a safe Independence Day everyone!

Comments:

comment by tealstar on July 11, 2008 12:10 PM ()

Well, my kids gave me my share of angst, believe me. But I have no regrets. Sometimes, it's not meant to be (having children).

reply by solitaire on July 11, 2008 4:23 PM ()

I totally get it. After a first marriage that celebrated everything BIG FAMILY style from birthdays, Confirmations to first "poops", I enjoy just doing nothing and celebrating nothing from time to time.

comment by shesaidwhat on July 11, 2008 4:01 AM ()

Actually, every day is a holiday, now that I'm retired. I miss my kids, but gee it's fun to be alone.

reply by solitaire on July 11, 2008 4:26 PM ()

Guess we've worked out the living easy thing in our lives. No expectations. Tell each other what we'd like to do. Freedom to say yes/no. Interject spontaneity once in awhile. Fine to do absolutely nothing. Hey - it takes practice to learn how to do just that... so yeah, we did nothing on the 4th either. Unless you count watching a dvd and eating Haagen Dazs something.

comment by november on July 6, 2008 4:47 PM ()

Thanks for stopping by. I almost missed your comment. I still haven't got the art of goofing off down yet. But that's ok.

reply by solitaire on July 9, 2008 4:35 PM ()

comment by wickedwitchofthewest on July 5, 2008 8:22 PM ()

Hey. Good to hear from you! I was nearly 60 when my last kid left the nest. So I was ready. Be well.

reply by solitaire on July 6, 2008 4:15 PM ()

No I haven't read it... thanks, I'll get it. As for having a partner, after 42 years we are so in tune it's like there's only one person here, very relaxing.

Very wise! I share your sentiments.

comment by clovis on July 4, 2008 11:58 PM ()

Well, you're not exactly alone with a partner. But it's not like having kids around, eh? I gotta tell you, I'm reading "Commonwealth of Thieves" by Thomas Keneally, about "the improbable birth of Australia". Have you ever read it? Quite interesting!

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:22 AM ()

You have earned the right to celebrate however you wish doing whatever you wish. Enjoy every minute — and I'm lighting a sparkler in honor of Peace and Quiet!

comment by marta on July 4, 2008 7:46 PM ()

Thanks Martha. Most of the weekend is work related--weeding, repairing a brick driveway, etc. But I enjoy being outside. Rather cool for this time of year, eh? Go Mudhens!

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:26 AM ()

I know how much I love/need my alone time!!! Especailly this last year, since both of my daughters had moved back in!! Good news all around, Diana is moving back to Sacramento and working at UPS and taking medical classes!!! By July 21. Now Ayla on the other hand, still receives her mail here but is rarely here now adays...the peace and quiet is exactly that....peaceful and quiet!!! I have friends, that cannot yet appreciate thier solitude and I wonder how they do it???!! It is my time and I am grateful for it!! I totally get what you are saying Randy!! The reading alone is worth it!!!

comment by darkstar on July 4, 2008 2:19 PM ()

I sure hope none of my children want to move back in with me! Thanks for sharing more insight into Ms. Darkstar!

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:09 AM ()

Freedom's just another word for... doing whatever you want! Happy Fourth!

comment by sunlight on July 4, 2008 11:56 AM ()

We would if we could (stay cool). Our city was burning for awhile. Firefighters got it put out pretty quickly!

reply by sunlight on July 6, 2008 5:33 PM ()

Ain't that the truth! I love that freedom. Stay cool in S.Cal.!

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:11 AM ()

Wonderful post!! Happy Fourth!!

comment by looserobes on July 4, 2008 7:58 AM ()

I don't know about "wonderful", but thanks anyway, Steve. Go hike your heart out, you lucky dog!

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:18 AM ()

I "get" that alone does not mean lonely, and that your privacy and peace are important to you. As for me, I do not yet want to give up the days that celebrate those things that matter most in life, like family and country. I do not think of it as an intrusion on my personal preference for solitude. Celebrating "special" days has taken on a new importance to me due to recent events in my life. Life is important! I want to reaffirm that with everything that I do.

comment by dragonflyby on July 4, 2008 7:10 AM ()

Holidays always brings back memories. It's about the only time I take pictures of those special times. Still, I'm glad they're over. And you're right, I'm not lonely. Hope you're getting back in the groove. It'll take some time. Think good thoughts.

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:15 AM ()

you too! I'm not so free though, I get to burn my fingers shooting off grounders for my son and his friends

comment by ducky on July 4, 2008 7:06 AM ()

I never even liked sparklers! Hope you were careful. Thanks for stopping by.

reply by solitaire on July 5, 2008 6:28 AM ()