I cry for this girl I knew. She was different 2 years ago and now she is about stand trial for the murder of her own daughter. I can't understand how this happened. I mean, how did I not see this? Couldn't I see something wasn't right? I think I did at times. There were indications that told me that she was, well, for lack of a better word, confused. But not with her daughter...

Where Caylee was concerned, she was nothing more than a loving doting mom who always came over loaded with toys and food and clothes -- enough for 2 days, not 2 hours. I doted on the baby. I always managed to buy her something cute in Target. (They have great baby stuff by the way.) I'd come home with toys and shoes, little dresses and onezy's rattles and teething rings, socks and of course those infamous plastic keys that only a baby can love. Sammy would sit by her, our big old rottie. 160 lbs of gentleness. He loved her so much. He'd kiss her face, but not too much and she'd bounce in her little chair. She lit up when she saw Sammy and Sammy delighted in her. He stuck right by her, hence the Nancy Grace picture of little Caylee being held by a woman with red fingernails (who incidently is me) and Sammy sitting to the side smiling his big toothy grin. He followed her wherever she was in the room and when she started crawling, he was right there. I guess they are together now, running in green fields. Sammy is her dog now and someday, when I go over that Rainbow Bridge, I'll be with both of them.

I wish for an end to this. I wish this had ended better. What a tragedy for all involved.

To my friends here at Greasy, thank you so much for the love you have poured out to me. The personal notes and virtual hugs I've received keep me going. God bless you all.

Comments:

What is that line about there being a separate God for children?You and I aren't blogging friends, I know, but for what it's worth, I have been following and reading and praying for all of you...that there might be some comfort at some time coming your way, even if it's only for a moment.And that all of you will someday find peace.

comment by janetk on Oct 15, 2008 12:11 PM ()

Thanks so much janet. I really appreciate that. I don't know how we haven't run into each other!

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 2:58 PM ()

I'm sorry, I haven't followed this story, so forgive me if I am off base here. You said the "mother" is about to stand trial for murder of her daughter. You seem to be tearing yourself up over something you obvious didn't have control over. Most of us (people I know) don't want "teachers, police, social workers" or whatever poking their face into our business. That's because we're "afraid" they might see (or think) something that really isn't there. However, we all want our children to be safe. If our kid was hurt, we'd be wondering "where were the police, teachers", or whoever when it happened.

The way I see it.. you as a "teacher" did nothing wrong. You didn't know.. probably still don't know all the details. Don't beat yourself up. Nothing was "obvious"..

For now, I'd pray for the "Mother". If she did infact kill her own daughter (innocent till proven guilty), she needs some support. Something went wrong in her brain, and well she is a person too.

If she did it..Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Forgive immediate... trust is lost forever. She would need to be separate from society (prison), but would need "Love" to get her on the right path...


Gary

comment by coincutter on Oct 15, 2008 10:26 AM ()

Very sorry to hear! I know that makes it harder.. still, don't "beat" yourself up.. and yes, I still think the "mother" needs support, especially from you.

reply by coincutter on Oct 15, 2008 10:49 AM ()

She was my son's fiancee. It wasn't a teacher relationship. Caylee was my "grandchild" for a year.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 10:40 AM ()

I missed your original posts because this happened about the time that my own son died, so a few weeks ago I had to go through all of your posts to understand your connection to Caylee. About the mother- the death of one's child is so horrific that I cannot imagine little Caylee was deliberately murdered, but if she was lost due to some stupid misdeed, then I can understand how and why her mother might go into total and complete denial. Guilt and shame- and the pain of such a loss can completely warp one's mind- to the point of making someone delusional. So much pain! So many lies.

I deeply regret your loss, your pain. This is so very, very sad. God be with you and comfort you.

comment by dragonflyby on Oct 15, 2008 8:46 AM ()

I'm so sorry about your son. I've been so enveloped by this thing for 3 months that I don't know much what is going on any more. THanks.(((hugs)))) My heart goes out to you.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 9:35 AM ()

Can't think of words that would help you. Just leave it all in God's hands and he will help you. Sometimes, we have problems that seem unsolvable and when I have them, I jsut say "Dear God, Help me. YOu know what I need, when Idon't." God bless all your family. You seem to be strong and love one another. Here's a hug from me (). Nena

comment by nenah on Oct 15, 2008 7:37 AM ()

Thanks Nena, I needed that today.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 8:30 AM ()

"And a little child shall lead them." Has Caylee lead us to bond together and support those who are hurting? Has she taught us there are more important things than the stock market and price of gas? Has she given us an insight of what is important and what is just "stuff"? We will never forget the ltitle girl named Caylee Marie and the impact she has had on the whole world.

comment by mzscarlett on Oct 15, 2008 6:23 AM ()

((((((hugs))))) Love ya, Carolyn.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 7:13 AM ()

Deb, I cannot even begin to imagine what this has put all of you through. I am so sorry for the loss of that precious child. I am sorry also that you have had to go through so much emotionally. Going through all of this must have been incredibly painful and worrisome for you...yet you remained strong through it all. I have so much respect for you...you have inspired me in so many ways. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you really and sincerely loved that precious baby. If there is anything I can do...(I'm already praying)...please let me know. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Kelli

comment by hopefields on Oct 15, 2008 3:34 AM ()

Thanks so much Kelli.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 7:12 AM ()

comment by lunarhunk on Oct 14, 2008 9:00 PM ()

Thanks AJ, I don't know if there is anything that anyone can really say. Just knowing you guys are here is the best thing.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 15, 2008 7:10 AM ()

God bless you, sweetie. May you feel His arms wrapped around you, holding you up, comforting you & soothing all that you are enveloped with. ((((love ya)))))

comment by dkelly on Oct 14, 2008 7:55 PM ()

Thank you so much. you don't know what that means

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:55 PM ()

comment by jondude on Oct 14, 2008 7:13 PM ()

Thanks jondude

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:55 PM ()

prayers

comment by firststarisee on Oct 14, 2008 6:54 PM ()

thanks so much sweetie

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:55 PM ()

comment by greatmartin on Oct 14, 2008 6:18 PM ()

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:54 PM ()

My heart just aches for you all. I am so so sorry....

comment by marta on Oct 14, 2008 5:52 PM ()

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:54 PM ()

We are all feeling sad that it ended this way; I can feel your heartbreak and sorrow. When I saw that picture, I knew it was you because of Sammy sitting right next to Caylee. You did everything you possible could but I know you will always wonder where it went wrong. Prayers for your family and little Caylee.

comment by gapeach on Oct 14, 2008 5:13 PM ()

Always

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:54 PM ()

I'm so sorry Deb. I have followed this story very closely too. I hope there is closure very soon.

comment by texastar on Oct 14, 2008 5:03 PM ()

Thanks Jenn.

reply by teacherwoman on Oct 14, 2008 7:53 PM ()