Yesterday was my first serious day as yearbook advisor at school. It was the first Pep Rally, which this year seemed unusually loud for some reason. It was also a very big football game here and I was the chief photographer for the game. Basically, I worked about a 12 hour day, I think it was...maybe more, everything became a blur after about 8:00.

It was a rather satisfying game for me, don't know if it was for the team. But, the team we played are the nemesis of our high school team. I "can't stand" the opposing coach due to personal reasons, like he treated my older son badly a long time ago. Anyway...that's another story. We kicked their "butts" 28-6. Rather satisfying for me watching our boys trot in there at 1/2 time with a 14-0 score on the board. This other team is usually a big competitor, but not last night. Last night they stunk, or we were really good -- not sure which.

Much has happened down here as well. Yesterday we felt the rain of Hannah as she proceeded up toward the Carolinas and now we have an Ike swirling out there deciding if he's going to attack Florida or not. I'm worried about this storm. It's the most organized of the year and it would really ruin Martin's home -- not to mention my uncle and aunt and other cousins who live down there. Lord knows I don't want the wind and the rain.

About my state of being...right now I'm living day to day with this case, wondering if the end will ever come. Hoping each day that something will happen and that Caylee will be found safe, but losing hope at the same time. I want everyone to be wrong. I want her to be tucked away somewhere playing with her toys and being kissed goodnight. I want her to be safe from all harm. She may very well be, but not in this world.

I pray a lot, or rather, I talk to God a lot and He listens. I've ranted and raved at him, sobbed on His huge shoulder and at times I've even given Him the silent treatment. Amazing that He puts up with me at all, but I almost hear His voice at the end of my raving saying "Are you done?" Then inside I feel the warmth of His love flow over me and I know that I'm not made to see the future -- only He is. If I saw it, it would probably scare me to death. One day at a time, you know, one moment to another moment. Good news is that anything can happen.

I'll be visiting you guys today. Miss you and look forward to catching up on all your stories.

Comments:

That's a really busy schedule that you have! I hope that Ike doesn't hit anyone's home. Hopefully, it will go right on past all of you in Florida! As for Caylee, I also like to think that she is safe and sound somewhere and just hasn't been found yet. I hate to think of the alternative. I was really touched by what you wrote about God and your ranting. Thank you, Deb, for being human. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I learn through observation and needless to say, I have learned a lot from you, about character, hope, and being 'real.' Kelli

comment by hopefields on Sept 6, 2008 9:44 PM ()

Thank you so much. It's all true, too.

reply by teacherwoman on Sept 7, 2008 8:39 AM ()

comment by lunarhunk on Sept 6, 2008 7:23 PM ()

Thanks AJ and I know you mean it!

reply by teacherwoman on Sept 6, 2008 8:57 PM ()

comment by troutbend on Sept 6, 2008 12:37 PM ()

reply by teacherwoman on Sept 6, 2008 1:39 PM ()

comment by marta on Sept 6, 2008 10:27 AM ()

reply by teacherwoman on Sept 6, 2008 10:41 AM ()

comment by fredo on Sept 6, 2008 9:30 AM ()

reply by teacherwoman on Sept 6, 2008 9:36 AM ()

Not sure about Ike yet--being selfish I want it to go south of us--though I won't (how can I leave the birds) we are in the evacuation zone--last but not least I don't want to do without electricity--after all these years and all the money they make you would think FPL would have this all coveerd!!!
I meant to watch it but didn't--the story last night on 20/20 about Caylee--did you get to see it?

comment by greatmartin on Sept 6, 2008 8:44 AM ()

Yes, they had a clip of my son on there, but they never mentioned his name. Good call on their part. I'm tired of hurricanes, can't we do something else?

reply by teacherwoman on Sept 6, 2008 9:03 AM ()