You know how you feel when your stomach is in knots and your heart feels like it is in your throat? That is how I am feeling right now. I haven't been on much. My Mom is back in the hospital and it is not good. Please pray for her!! This is so hard. She is nearing the end of the *fall/autumn* of her life. I will catch up on comments when I can. We need to go back up there and see if we can talk to her doctor. Her heart doctor was in today and told her that this was it and there was nothing more they could do for her. We are looking into moving her back in with us. Her COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) is chronic. Her CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) is chronic. Her Renal Failure is in the early stages. Her abdominal aortic aneurysm is getting close to where they need to operate but, her heart doctor told her that she wouldn't survive the operation. It has grown in the past 6 months. I am really upset. Although, you know this is coming you never want to lose them. Gosh this is sooo hard. My Mom and I have always been so close. I need to go and I will try and keep folks posted. If I can't our son is a real trooper and has been calling family for me. I do ok and then I just fall apart. My Mom told me what the heart doctor told her and she was crying. I was able to stay calm and talk to her but afterwards when I hung up the phone I fell apart. Ok....Later.

*********UPDATE ADDED************

I just wanted to say that I got to talk to my Mom's Lung doctor tonight when he came in. We listened to what he said and then had some questions of our own. He told us that Mom *could have a stent fix* for the the abdominal aortic aneurysm because that is not the major AAA surgery. Although, the heart doctor *which is not her normal heart doctor but, the one on-call* her heart doctor is on vacation and won't be back until Monday. Anyway, we don't really care for this particular heart doctor that is on-call. He was *nicer* this time but, all doom and gloom. We told the lung doctor what he said. The lung doctor said....He means there is nothing more he can do for her not that this is the end *end*. He apologized for the way this on-call heart doctor was. I told him well, that isn't your fault. Her COPD is *Moderate to Severe* stage which is not good. Her heart failure he didn't think was as bad as what the heart doctor said. He said that her creatin levels are up but that he didn't feel like her kidneys were in failure. Mom and I and all of us feel better about things. We did talk to the lung doctor about Mom staying in her apt. or move in with us. He asked her a few questions about how she could do for herself. He also said when I asked about her moving in with us that it might be better for her. That way she wouldn't get so anxious being by herself. My Mom said...I like living by myself in my apt. I said we didn't want her to go to a home like the *on-call heart doctor* insinuated. Also how the on-call heart doctor said that she couldn't keep coming back to the hospital when she felt bad that she would have to go somewhere where they could provide 24/7 care. The lung doctor said there are homes and then there are HOMES!! So, he also told us that he would call in the Vascular Surgeon that keeps a check on her AAA every six months and see what he thinks about it getting larger. We all feel much better and I got in touch with family and talked to them. I let them know what the lung doctor said.

I will say right now that *IF I see this on-call heart doctor tomorrow, he is going to "HEAR" from me on how he was with my Mom all doom and gloom yesterday!!!!*


I don't know why some doctors think that they are God and can play with our lives. But, I will say this he picked the wrong one to play God with!!!

Thank you everyone for your loving thoughts and prayers and please continue to keep her and us in your thoughts and prayers. Although, this is not as doom and gloom as we were told earlier on Friday afternoon. She still has lots of health problems and in serious condition.

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